Anna Yamamaya

Spiritual Reflection

2012-02-22T16:31:00.007-05:00

It's been a while the Owl visited me in my dream, but I still feel her whenever I feel that connection when looking at owl artwork. Distinctive portrayals of owls give me that inspiring feeling that activates my creativity.

I also haven't been having any "spiritual dreams" for a while. The Goddesses remain silent on my part, but I know They are within me alive. Perhaps my mind is too focused on schoolwork and physical reality. My attention to my spirituality balances back, however, at certain times such as now. Hence I am blogging hah. Just need to reflect on myself.

I did recently had a dream about an additional necklace to my owl one. A hawk or eagle pendant? I don't remember, but I was just wearing it. Maybe another animal spirit is rising inside of me.

There are patterns I notice. Although the Owl has been silent, she has been really active, particularly in my school life. She helps me study not for the sake of studying but the sake of learning. To learn and know more. Even though it may not be practical, learning new things is enlightening. It brings pleasure to my mind. It takes discipline in some areas such as mathematics, but the Owl's energies help me see the brighter side of things and make it more enjoyable. Otherwise, I don't know how I would survive these classes I am taking.

That brings up Seshat. I've been acknowledging Her more in my life and even created a little altar space for Her. She is guiding me is all I know, and there are many lessons She will present me in years ahead in my life and education.

Artemis has taught me all I needed to know, yet I will still continue to learn mysteries about myself through time. She is in my heart and soul; my first Goddess that I'll never cease to honor.

I will now go now and try to return my attention back to chemical equilibrium for chemistry.

What vegans like me eat?

2012-02-19T20:13:00.007-05:00

I reflect on a question my lab partner asked me. She apparently thinks I can't eat anything because I'm a vegan.

For breakfast I had gluten-free oats in organic unsweetened soymilk with organic raisins and raw organic coconut butter. Oh. And before I ate that, I ate a banana to get my digestion system going.

Then I had some purple sweet potatoes later on and a bowl of grapes.

And I just had dinner before. Pumpkin with onions and green peppers with brown rice and dried seaweed :)

Cooking for myself is nice because I can control the ingredients. I don't use sugar or salt. Sometimes herbs like dill, but it depends what I am cooking. I miss eating wheat products like whole wheat bread and pasta, but I suspect I might have a slight gluten allergy. So... the only grains I can have is quinoa or brown rice. Well, quinoa isn't a grain actually but whatever.

I neeeeed salt-free, sugar-free, and natural flavors-free tomato sauce. Sea salt might be okay but no salt. It's like a substitute for pizza. Quinoa with broccoli, tomato sauce, and nutritional yeast... yum. Almost like junk food. Should have hunted something like that when I was at Whole Foods. Too bad Trader Joe's didn't have what I was looking for.

A Lyrical Thought

2012-02-18T14:44:00.004-05:00

Do not be fooled of physical states,

You are not who you appear to be.

You are an illusional mirage roaming this dimension

That can taste, hear, smell, touch, and sense.

You are not who you appear to be

And may wonder who you are for eternity,

But know to that answer is filled with infinite possibilities

That perhaps there is not just one answer.

New Tarot Deck

2012-02-04T23:55:00.005-05:00

So, yesterday, I got my new deck of tarot cards, Tarot of the Cat People by Karen Kuykendall. I know. I already have two decks, but there was something about this deck that was calling me. I was interested in it for a while, but I hesitated to get it. I finally decided to spoil myself though since it came with free shipping for a book I had to get for my science in writing class.

The cards were really sticky when I took the deck out. I suspected maybe it was the weather, or the cards were too new. I had to pick each card out and unattach them. They seem fine now, but the shuffling is weird. I hope as I use them more often, they will lose the stickiness. I read the reviews and no one really mentioned the problem. Perhaps I just happen to be the unlucky one.

Anyway, I absolutely love the artwork. Abolustelyy love it. Can't wait to start using them.

Unto Herself: A Devotional Anthology for Independent Goddesses Submissions

2012-01-19T14:44:00.001-05:00

Link for Details

So, I'm planning to participate in this because I have a couple of works I did of Artemis. It would be an honor to see my work in print. I don't know which to send, so I compiled them together. I'm not sending them yet however.

13 Adorations of Sekhmet

2012-01-14T16:08:00.004-05:00

I was inspired by some Pagans on Wordpress that have been doing the "66 Adorations" blog. So, I will do a "13 Adorations" one for Sekhmet because I have been working with her lately.

13 Adorations of Sekhmet

I adore you she-lion

I adore you scorching sun

I adore you rage of the storm

I adore you destructible tornado

I adore you roar of nature

I adore you infinite shakti

I adore you destroyer of the ill

I adore you lone desert flower

I adore you burning one

I adore you warrioress

I adore you crimson lady

I adore you raging lion

I adore you goddess

Lacking Depth

2011-12-22T22:59:00.003-05:00

I feel my entries have been lacking depth--nothing interesting. Maybe I should change what I blog about now... or start blogging about actual things. If I'm not lazy...

I feel like changing it to Scientific Witch, so I can mention some sciencey things meshing in with spirituality. I really don't know.

I'm currently waiting for my college grades to be posted on eSims. So far I got a B- in calculus... sighs. I could've gotten a B+, but I messed up on my final.

And for now, this is the first entry for December.

Backlashed

2011-11-22T12:05:00.002-05:00

Okay. I totally screwed up on my calculus test. It was much harder than I expected. I feel all bleh now.

Though, that's my punishment for not studying hard enough. I had the weekends and did some studying but not in depth. Maybe my low score will make me study harder for the next one. I know my last two C+s on my chemistry exam is making me feel more motivated.

Sighs. I think I might be losing interest in math again. I can't let this happen. I have two more semesters of calculus to go if I want to pass...

But I can always reconsider the option of majoring in psychology and avoid math. I don't want to though... I want to major in the earth sciences. I mean, I can minor it, but it won't be as great.

Sighs. Seshat... definitely need to work with Her.

Seshat

2011-11-20T12:50:00.008-05:00

"In Egyptian mythology, Seshat (also spelled Safkhet, Sesat, Seshet, Sesheta, and Seshata) was the Ancient Egyptian goddess of wisdom, knowledge, and writing. She was seen as a scribe and record keeper, and her name means she who scrivens (i.e. she who is the scribe), and is credited with inventing writing. She also became identified as the goddess of architecture, astronomy, astrology, building, mathematics, and surveying. These are all professions that relied upon expertise in her skills." This is according to Wikipedia because I'm lazy to put it in my own words.

I had been kind of "working" with Her in the beginning of this year because I was failing precalculus that time. She recently sparked my interest again. I'm thinking about doing more research on Her and decide working with Her for now on. I would like Her to guide me as I embark my nerdy scientific journey... since I'm majoring in the sciences. Perhaps I'll set Her up on my altar for winter solstice.

I found some brief information about Her: Link.

I like this site quite a lot. It has a page for most of the Egyptian deities I think.

Here She is in my bedroom. Why I taped on Her image on the forgotten TV? I have no idea.

I shall now go and study for my calculus exam... which is on Tuesday. I've been have putting it off a few hours ago haha.

Lab was interesting for once

2011-11-18T20:45:00.002-05:00

We had a lab about spectroscopy. It was colorful and pretty. I got excited when the acids turned red and then orange. I was anticipating the next colors to follow the spectrum of the rainbow, but they didn't. Oh well. It would've been cool.

I also got a 100 on my math quiz on a single optimization problem. Yay.

I'm physically tired out. Standing on the trains for an hour and a half, especially when there's no seats to sit and when I'm carrying my laptop. Very tiring. I didn't get to sit until it was near my stop.

Gaia and Sekhmet are reliable Goddesses to seek refuge. They help me cope with the extremities of life by offering nurturing comfort. Gaia usually comes up in my mind first though. Then Sekhmet gently kicks me back up.

I don't have plans for winter solstice yet. I was about to participate in the Yule card/gift exchange events Adrenia reblogged in I Heart Paganism, but I decided not to do it. I don't think I would have any time to put my creativity on paper. I have assignments and an upcoming math exam to study for. Sighs.

I want to walk in the sand...

2011-11-17T21:11:00.003-05:00

My Book of Shadows

2011-11-13T19:34:00.003-05:00

Though, I should probably call it something else now.

I have three. Two of them were from 2008. This one next to me, a big purple notebook, is from 2009. Well, I have been using it since 2009. I haven't written anything in it lately though... forgotten almost.

On the inside cover page to the left, it says my old craft name, "Rowana Sabredancer," in Greek. Ancient Greek? I don't know, but it's Greek. It feels kind of foreign opening this book as if it belongs to another person... with different energies.

I don't know if I should continue writing in it anymore and start a new one. It would be a waste of paper though.

It has a lot of notes I took about Dianic Wicca, Artemis, and things I wrote like poetry, rituals, and spells, and my dreams. A past spiritual journey.

I should be getting back to studying for calculus now.

Incense

2011-11-10T12:19:00.002-05:00

I love the smell of incense before bedtime. Artemisia and amber really creates a nice scent.

I was feeling really bleh last night, well, I still do but I guess it's not as worse. I lit artemisia incense to connect with Artemis and amber to connect with Sekhmet. Basically, I feel a comfort connecting with them using incense when I'm having confusing internal conflicts. I usually use artemisia and cedar incense for Artemis, amber for Sekhmet, and musk for Bast. I have white rose incense, but it's too strong, so I don't really use it unless I'm doing something like friendship or love. The scent is just too heavy or it could be the brand.

It helped me sleep a bit. And it's the full moon actually, so it's maybe a good time for reflection too. I haven't been in touch with my spiritual side lately, so maybe I've been feeling spiritually drained. I woke up in the morning feeling much better as if all my tension was lifted off, but I had to go to school... and now I'm here feeling all bleh again haha.

Sometimes I have these urges to... experience like what... those who journey on personal/spiritual quests do. Like... Buddha. He abandoned everything physical he was so used to and went to meditate in the forest if I'm correct. I'm familiar with his story but not quite. There's a hermitess living inside of me that likes to take over sometimes--sometimes she feels so unsatisfied with the society she lives in... and she can't stop feeling all bleh. It could be that she's being activated in me again. Maybe I'm not feeding her enough... and things just has to be balanced.

I want rolling hills and soft breezes caressing my body, nourishing my soul with the beauty of nature. The solitude and sunlight peeking through the canopies of the tree, warming my body. Giving me energy. The feeling of being renewed. It's that feeling I can't name.

Am I getting enough calories?

2011-10-09T12:37:00.003-04:00

I've been eating the same thing almost everyday and trying to heal my skin.

Supplements I take: Sublingual B12 with B6 and folic acid, and vitamin E.

Beverages: Lots of water (constant bathroom unfortunately), occasional jasmine tea

Diet: Vegan

Morning: I exercise first before eating, so my digestive system can get ready. Then I eat a banana.

Breakfast: Take my B12. Avocado smeared on Italian bread with nutritional yeast and two tablespoons of ground flaxseed. Today I added dried seaweed. Yayy. Oh and ate a tangerine afterwards.

Lunch: Organic tomato sauce on Italian bread with nutritional yeast and ground flaxseed, and a large pear peeled. I would eat the skin if it looked "better" lmao.

Dinner: Boiled vegetables (broccoli, chickpeas, green peas, etc.) and rice. Whatever my mother ends up making. Fruit.

Hours before bed: Vitamin E with carrots. I should've gotten vitamin A to take with it, but the carrots would do.

Wow. It really does seem I eat little, but my body remains content. I have lots of energy and try to hydrate myself at home. Water does make me less hungry.

Current height: 5'2''

Weight: 96 lbs... err... I just weighed myself after eating around an hour ago. So.. I would be a few pounds less? Lol....

Woah. I was a little over 100 lbs when I ate lots of nuts (cashews and almonds) last month, but I stopped because I assumed it was the cause of my breakouts.

I don't think I'm getting enough protein. I don't eat much soy anymore or drink soymilk either. I forgot the last time I even drank soymilk. Mostly... it's vanilla flavored soymilk which my sister gets because she's trying to gain weight and says there's more calories. Sighs. If there was original or unsweetened soymilk, then I would probably continue drinking it.

Describe your dream library.

2011-10-07T22:27:00.002-04:00

So I'm having fun looking at these list of questions I reblogged in my Tumblr: Link. I also felt like writing something personal.

My dreammm library. It would be a bookshelf of old looking books--something similar to my college's science library. The forgotten books would have a history of their own. Their yellow pages and musky smell would emit a feeling of "home" and comfort. The bookshelves would be placed across a windowsill; a nice windowsill I can sit on and daze off looking at the sky when I'd take reading breaks. It would be espeically purrfect if it rained... and thundered softly while I would read. I would be in my own little world...

Excitement would beam on my face every time I would open a book up. Each text is special; some has meaning and mysteries to reveal. Things I can learn that enlighten me: science, philosophy, spiritual concepts... Knowledge... to know is so pleasant.

College Update and Pagan Stuff

2011-09-28T15:38:00.004-04:00

Ughh... I still need a little help in the chain rule when it comes to factoring. I'm a bit stronger now using the exponent powers now that I have kept practicing problems with them. My first calculus exam is on the 4th of October. It's a little less intimidating than my chemistry test next Friday.

My chemistry professor... he said that the the average score on the first exam for last year was exactly a C... and there are only twelve questions. Damn. I am so screwed sighs. I have to do better at unit converting and applying those gas and quantum equations in problems. Sighs.

Oh right. On autumnal equinox, well the day after, I attended the NYC Pagan Pride Day event with Adrenia on Saturday. I was surprised to see Vinita there because I haven't seen her for years. I also met Save.

Here's the henna tattoo that got done on my hand:

It's supposedly going to last from a week to three weeks. I hope it lasts up to three weeks :o I'm planning on getting my own henna ink, so I can have funn decorating my hands, legs, and wherever. If my classmate remembers, she might help me buy the ink; she was interested where I got my mehndi design done. I guess it's also because it's part of her culture.

The stuff I got from the event: amethyst, carnelian, rose quartz, tiger's eye, serpentinite, moonstone, turquoise, obsidian, St John's wort, lavender, and a Bast pendant. There was another Bast pendant I like, but it was $5 extra. Bast was in the middle of a papyrus with Egyptian hieroglyphs as the background.

I'm glad I decided to go :) It was such a nice experience. I think I would definitely go next year again.

Hmmm... what's next... Samhain :o I probably won't do much. I don't celebrate all the Sabbats anymore, but there's always something about Samhain I like. I could feeel always the energyy in the air.

Almost Autumn

2011-09-11T14:22:00.005-04:00

Grapevine in garden.

It's almost autumn or Mabon, but I prefer to call it autumn since I don't observe it in the traditional Wiccan or Celtic way anymore. This year autumn will be on the 23rd which is a Friday. The seasons are caused by Earth's rotational axis in a tilt of 23.5 degrees.

I don't know what I will be planning to do. I remember in the early years when I started off as a Pagan, I made special foods and did small rituals. Nowadays, I barely do anything... maybe it's because I'm lazy. Anyway, the first Sabbat I celebrated was in Mabon 2008. I remember I first worked with Athena and made this pizza-like thing with olives and tomato sauce spread on tortilla as an offering. I clearly remember I brought them to school for lunch and got my friend into them; there were extras left haha. She pretty much knew I was a Wiccan then and was completely cool with it.

Since it's on a Friday, I might as well take a walk in the park which is in the back of my college's campus. Taking pictures and collecting anything from Nature on the ground would be a good idea... and visiting the garden in my yard. I wonder if there would be more sour grapes to pick off.

I guess if I do anything on autumn, I'll blog about it.

College

2011-09-03T13:08:00.003-04:00

It's a lot better than high school so far. Even though there's a lot of work and studying to do, it's worth it for the mature environment.

I have three classes: calculus, chemistry with lab, and my science writing class.

Calculus... my professor teaches a lot of material in one day and gives a lot of homework. Even though she said she doesn't always check it, I'm being responsible for it. I'm still going to do it because I want to keep up with what I'm learning... and not fail. All I know is it's probably the hardest math course, and I'm still frightened by it. I wished I could have my brother's math skills... or have a better experience with math when I was younger. Then maybe math would be less frustrating to me. But I'm trying to find some kind of way to like it... so far we got up to learning about limits. I like the graphing part.. even though I don't exactly know yet how to draw the lines correctly... I need to study that.

Chemistry. I actually... like that textbook. It's readable and clear to understand. I just wished my professor showed more and talked less. Lab yesterday was okay too. My lab partner screwed us up in the first part because he thought the black substance was aluminum... I knew it wasn't. It's common sense to tell that silver metallic substance was aluminum. Not that blackish plastic-like substance which was actually "tecaform." I probably spelled that wrong. But he heard incorrectly from our instructor, so it's okay.

We're reading The Origin of Species by Charles Darwin for my science writing class. How awesome is that? I'm still disappointed that the library was closed when it clearly stated that it was opened on the website. So misleading. I guess I have to resolve to iGoogle Books for now.

Okay. I'll stop blabbering about college stuff. I just have a lot to do this weekend. I'm going to try and finish those three or four math assignments and read that damn math textbook. Then I need to finish fifteen problems for my chemistry homework, read the chemistry textbook, and then start reading the evolution book. But can I do all of this today and tomorrow? Guess I'll have to find out.

I Need a Mosquito Net

2011-08-24T07:40:00.003-04:00

This is not the usual time I wake up... in fact I only got 4 hours of sleep because... my dad thought it was a bright idea to let my brother practice driving with his car last night. *Sighs* My mom told him it'll make the mosquitoes get in, and I also agreed. Why couldn't he be considerate and consider doing that earlier when he got home? No, not at night time.

Now that mosquito is going to stay inside the house for a few days... if anyone manages to kill it anyway. This definitely will not help me sleeping earlier; I get paranoid when I go to sleep... which is why I'm currently awake.

I'm very irritated right now... and I want my revenge.

Updates for the Month

2011-08-22T21:52:00.003-04:00

No, it's nothing special. I deleted the two other pages because I knew they weren't going to be updated any time. I added a Vegan Recipes page however... so I can share my awesome recipes to the world... *Coughs*

Anyway, I will be starting college on Friday. I have a few days left to adjust to sleeping early. I also finished that short summer assignment which was not worth my time at all. Calculus and chemistry... I need to do early studying for that soon.. though I may be a bit too late for that.

Spiritual Meme

2011-08-20T23:12:00.006-04:00

Taken from Silly Buddha... because I'm bored and need something to think and write about.

Astrological Sign?
Sun in Aries, Moon in Aquarius, and Virgo rising.

Chinese Astrological Sign?
Rooster. The rest... I should know this one. *Goes look for that Chinese astrology book I found thrown out outside* Uhh... water rooster. Chinese astrology isn't my preference though.

What are you currently setting your intention on or praying for?
My intention... hmmm....

Who do you pray to?
Pray... I don't really pray. When I'm troubled, I speak to Sekhmet usually.. in fact that's kind of more recent.

Do you believe God created humans or humans evolved from primordial goo?
Primordial goo lol.

Ha ha. Both. I think it's all connected and that the Source, whatever we call it, is continually creating - and that evolution was part of this creative process. We are not the end of this process either.

I second that.

What is your mantra?
I'm not sure if I exactly have one. Probably not noticing it though.

Do you believe in Sin?
No.

Do you believe in Evil?
No, there are things and actions that can affect others negatively, but that doesn't mean it or they are evil. Evil or good... I don't believe in such a duality. They are just human terms that describe the black and white side of things.

What do you do when you see 11:11?
I go, "Oh cool. Same numbers :o." I don't see much significance in it otherwise.

Do you believe in Angels?
No... but certain concepts like animal totem guides are similar. I believe in those instead when they appear to me in dreams.

Do you believe in God? If so, what does God look like to you?

I believe in an organized, intelligent field of energy that we are born of and return to when we die. I believe we can access this field through meditation and dreams. If I had to give it a "face" I'd say my version of god looks like a mandala of buzzing energies.

Hmmm... I like this. To me, not monotheistically. This is going to be hard to explain... but whatever it is, I know there is a higher power that.. constantly creates and transforms. This power isn't single.. isn't just there in one place. Each of one of us have that energy in us that we can choose to tap into it or not.

That brings into Goddesses now. I depict them as how they are depicted in mythology because it helps me tap into their energies inside of me. But... otherwise... the concept of God being "up there" is invalid to my beliefs.

Is there an aspect of your religion/belief that you haven't made up your mind about?
Yes... spirituality in general lol. Is it just something that just gives humans a comfort knowing some kind of... purpose on living in life? And this has nothing to do with it.. but I'm all curious why Nature wants all living things to reproduce.

Is there a religion that you don't follow, but deeply respect or admire?
Buddhism, the power of controlling oneself's mind and body, and Dianic Wicca, empowerment of women.

Who has inspired you the most on your spiritual path?
Artemis. Her energy she offers... wildness, freedom, and truth to oneself.

In your opinion, what is the worst mistake we make, as a species?
Human ego that.. thinking the world revolves around us... by us.. as in.. "just humans."

What is something you would like to believe, but don't?
Making wishes that comes true... like blowing off dandelion seeds and poof.

Do you believe in soul mates?

Yes, but I think we have more than one and they're not always romantic connections. I have several good friends I consider soul mates because being around them makes my heart buzz with happy vibrations.

That I like. And twin flames.

Reincarnation or heaven?

Reincarnation, or rejoining of the field, depending on your energy's goals.

This too. Honestly, my wishing to "go back home" could possibly be "rejoining of the field."

Best "ah ha!" moment/epiphany?
Realizing the girl that appeared in my dreams in the past that I had never seen before is my love <3 Now I sound a bit... creepy....

Required spiritual reading?

Required? Not exactly... don't require anything.. but I do really like On Becoming an Alchemist by Catherine MacCoun. Totally insightful.

If you could pick, in your final moments, what would your last words be?
"I'm finally returning home..."

Advice for a lost soul?
Things just happen.. because they test you if you can handle them... that way you can learn and improve... and reflect. Don't fear them... view them as welcoming challenges in life.

A song that encapsulates your beliefs?
"Misere Mani" by Era and "Immrama" by Stellamara.

My Muse Spoke to Me....

2011-08-07T18:09:00.001-04:00

Kiss me, rain…
Cool mud caressing barefeet
Soil lingering in between toes
And coloring my skin with earth.
Rivulets of raindrops flow in my hair
Falling to the nape of my neck
Refreshed.
Sunlight filtering through the trees
Dancing with me as the leaves rustle softly.
Calling… singing…
I hear the hoots of the owls echoing,
Lingering for eternity.

Snake Visit

2011-08-07T15:26:00.002-04:00

I called her Python in my dream. I haven't seen snakes appear for a long time... it still seems the snake is still my shadow animal totem.

She was coming towards me.. her tail was glowing purpilish I think. It was colorful, something magical about it. She raised it like a rattlesnake in a non-threatening way, but I was still afraid of her. Why? I don't know... but I fled. In my mind I was thinking... she's not going to hurt you. But I didn't listen to the voice in my head. If I did, I wonder what Python could've shown me.

Anyway, I hope she comes back.

My summer vacation is almost over. I'll be starting college in two weeks. It's a bit earlier than other colleges that start, but I guess the benefits is I'll end earlier. Oh. I also have two more weeks of work left. Yay! No more wasting time at a bakery.

Elements

2011-07-29T13:16:00.002-04:00

The ancient Greeks believed there were four elements, earth, air, fire, and water. This is still seen in astrology and religions such as Wicca. However, there are 118 elements known in the periodic table. The more I think of it, the more I wonder... what I should believe in. The downfall of me failing chemistry during 10th grade was because I refused to learn chemistry because... it was so "unearthy." During that time, I was studying vigorously about the Pagan path which I discovered that summer of 2008. Now I question my current beliefs.

I can not escape the fact of the existence of Goddesses embedded in my thoughts. What if I for a moment pretended I was an atheist and said, "No deity exists." That would make me feel empty--really empty.

This brings me back to an alien documentary I've watched about the pyramids that Egyptians built. Could it be that we only look up to some sort of higher power or "God" because of "ancestor" aliens in the past? Because when they came down to earth, we viewed them as "Gods" which somehow created religion. Then again, I lack knowledge in this subject.. so I'll shut up.

Vegan Banana Plum Smoothie Recipe

2011-07-28T22:18:00.001-04:00

1 banana
1 plum
1/2 soymilk
1 tablespoon of ground flaxseed (optional)

=^^= Such an interesting taste.

Vegan Fig Smoothie Recipe

2011-07-24T00:06:00.001-04:00

Ahh. This taste sooo good. I made it.

3 Figs
1/2 cup of soymilk (I use 365 Organic Everyday Value Vanilla Soymilk)
1 tablespoon of ground flaxseed

An Edible Vegan Smoothie

2011-07-21T22:59:00.003-04:00

Lol. That's right... I made a smoothie before. Don't know what to call it. Carrot and watermelon?

1/2 carrot juice (I used baby carrots)
1/2 soymilk (I used 365 Organic Everyday Value Vanilla Soymilk)
Small amount of watermelon cubes

Damn it. I should've added ground flaxseed... maybe next time.

It made me.. too full when I was halfway done with it. Now it's in the fridge which I hope it won't go bad soon.

Hehe

2011-07-11T10:14:00.002-04:00

So I finally got to meet her irl =^_^= I wished I was much bolder with affection, but I was too embarrassed to... really do it. Maybe next time I hope.

Baroque Bohemian Cats' Tarot Review

2011-07-04T15:33:00.009-04:00

So, I was not planning to post two blog entries at the same day... but looking at tarot threads impelled me to review my tarot deck haha.

The Baroque Bohemian Cats' Tarot is by Alex Ukolov and Karen Mahony. I had this deck since 2009 I think. The box is worn out because I used to carry it with me during high school, and it got wet once from the rain. Fortunately, the cards inside didn't get wet.

The deck I got is probably their newest version because the card's layout looks different from the one shown in Aeclectic Tarot. When I first got it, I was actually kind of disappointed. I was expecting a vintage feel to it as how it looks like in the photo, but the camera just made it that way. The images are beautiful but just photoshopped. I'm fine with it now since I got used to it.

I mostly used this deck to give readings to others. I avoid inverses because it doesn't feel right with this deck--I keep the cards upright. I use my own meanings by interpreting the card, and sometimes they come close to the definitions in the booklet. But of course when I'm stuck, I cheat and resolve to the booklet hehe.

I like the card's back design. The eye is mesmerizing.

These are the fives cards I like a lot. The deck is simple to use, and the interpretation of the cards is not that difficult. Though, I still wish the cards had a traditional art/vintage feel to it.

My other half.

2011-07-04T14:11:00.002-04:00

I'm so lucky to have her in my life :)

I realized since then... I've been kind of more.. open around people? Physically I mean. I usually don't want anything to deal with them, but it seems I'm less cold and detached now. I guess her compassionate side shows an example to me.

My <3 for her goes beyond words... my twin flame, my rynax pair hehe...

Has Artemis left me to decide what to do now? She has taught me her lessons... and it seems I've faced them well. I'm okay to be released under her wings now, but she'll always be my patroness. I should start working with Bast now.

Still inspiring.

2011-07-01T14:04:00.003-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwYjZij6ATA

"Misere Mani" by Era

Pera menora infane lia
Doven anore
Misere mani

I will look in the sky
I will search for the sun
Who'll tell us all about
When we'll be tomorrow

I will read all the books
On my kness countlessness
To tell you what about
The legends of the past

I will wait for the sun
On the top of the world
To tell you all about
The beauty of the light

If you look inside your soul
The world'll be longer to your eyes
You'll see...

I will stay in the rain
How can sun will come through
Then I'll see it belongs to a mystery book
I'll stay up in the night
Looking moon shooting stars
To tell you how my name
You see all universe

If you look inside your soul
The world'll be longer to your eyes
You'll see...

Pera menora infano lia
Misere mani
Doven anore infane lia
Misere manio
Doven anore infane lia
Misero omane

Pera menora infane lia
You'll see...
Doven anore
Misere mani

I will wait for the sun
On the top of the world
To tell you all about
The beauty of the light
I'll stay up in the night
Looking moon shooting stars

Doven anore infane lia
Misere manio
Doven anore infane lia
Misero omane

I will look in the sky
I will search for the sun
I will wait for the sun
On the top of the world
I will look in the sky
of the world, of the world ...

Haiku #3

2011-06-29T18:54:00.001-04:00

tambourine music
echoing in the forest
is luring you close

Haiku #2

2011-06-24T14:22:00.002-04:00

gazing at her eyes
simple words cannot explain
the spark of the flame

Haiku #1

2011-06-23T23:15:00.000-04:00

pink petals drift down
entwining in our hair
eyelids droop slowly

Dreams

2011-06-21T13:14:00.002-04:00

My dreams are currently lacking... vividness? Whenever I wake up, I don't even know what I dreamed about. Maybe it's because I'm sleeping too late now, but that shouldn't be a problem. Isn't it the more I sleep, the more dreams I get? Hmmm... oh well.

Today I had a searching dream that made me feel unfulfilled or disappointed. Looking at store windows... trying to find something. Each time I entered a store, I found nothing or what I expected to be there was unsatisfying.

Maybe I will understand what I'm trying to find someday.

And I'm trying to blog more often. Hopefully I have something interesting to say tomorrow.

I confessed

2011-06-18T02:38:00.001-04:00

And I am so happy <3

Apparently...

2011-06-16T18:07:00.003-04:00

I have to go back to my college on Monday because the email account they made for me had an error! My name is Anna damn it. NOT Amanda. The tech got it fixed, but I have to go to the office to make sure the record is there or something.

And I have to transfer my FASA aid to the college since it wasn't on my first list. Stupid semester bill. The FASA aid better show up in the awards list.

Grrrr.

Waxing Gibbous

2011-06-14T14:30:00.004-04:00

I took this yesterday. The camera was on flash... so I can get the stars. Kind of still sucks because it isn't good at taking night pictures.

Wrestling with Selves

2011-06-07T22:14:00.002-04:00

I am a very greedy person. I wonder if it's caused by the esteem I have to keep secure to protect myself. Mostly it's because I learned a lot from my mistakes in the past, and I do not want to repeat them. I jumped to conclusions creating a lot of misunderstandings. So now, I try to stay away from all of it by not participating at all. I try to lock myself--shield myself because I'm afraid to get hurt.

I think this is the Artemis of me. Her energy is so fierce that she does not want me to be a victim again. I guess that is why I feel safe under Her care even though it still hurts. Is it not better to be safe than sorry? Should I put aside these human emotions for logic? Logic keeps illusions away.

Maybe it's why I've been focusing on my logical side more. I've been diving into scientific topics which actually helps distract me from my other side. Learning new things I've never known makes me happy. Most of the time, I believe knowledge is all I need to be happy. As long I understand how something works, I am satisfied. I think I can live off of it like food.

My newest hobby is probably watching NASA on TV all day. I know, I never watch TV. But this is somewhat different.

I think this side of me rising will help me deal better with life... reality. I don't really know.

But then there's that side of me that wants to be surrounded by illusions... chemicals. Yes, I call them chemicals. Aren't I a cold ass?

Reclaiming Power

2011-04-22T16:36:00.003-04:00

I now understand why Leopard and Jaguar have been interested in me. They want me to reclaim my power.

This was quite obvious, but I was slow to make the connection. Now that I know, I feel so elated. I finally faced them a few days ago in a dream. They were represented in cub form. I wonder if I passed the test because I'm definitely looking forward to the next challenge.

My Favorite Depictions of Artemis

2011-04-19T18:57:00.007-04:00

Diana of Versailles
Sculpture by Leochares
Roman copy by Michael Lahanas

Artemis
Artwork by Hrana Janto

Artemis or Diana of the Hunt
Artwork by John Liston Byam Shaw
(I looked for the artist of the artwork all over Google, and then I realized that he signed his name in the painting! How slow am I?)
Bigger size of painting

Artemis
Artwork by C. M. Bowra
Bigger size of artwork

Artemis
Artwork by Troy Caperton
Bigger size of artwork

Unknown
I think this is from some sort of Greek pottery. If anyone knows exactly which one, please notify me! I've been looking for it.

Artemis Elaphebolos?
Etruscan artwork 500 BCE

I've been looking at the paintings of Roman Diana, and I really dislike them for some reason. Perhaps it's true by what they say that Artemis and Diana are completely two different Goddesses. The depiction of Artemis (in my opinion) does not come close to those Diana paintings. Diana seems like a "gentler" Goddess than Artemis.

Finished My Essay!

2011-04-17T23:04:00.001-04:00

The Honoring of Artemis in Mounichion

The footnotes are unfortunately much longer than the essay T_T

Mounukhia

2011-04-12T21:05:00.002-04:00

I've been recently researching about Mounukhia. I hope I'm going to have the article written/typed up before Monday.

I also have next week off; it's spring vacation! Just three more days.

Another personal entry

2011-04-05T22:47:00.004-04:00

I usually don't post entries about myself, but lately, it seems my past entries seemed to get too personal, my personal life.

I think I'm straying too far. I wonder what's caused by? Anyway... I'm currently having some inner emotional conflicts and have to get it off my chest.

Relationships. Is it possible to enjoy reading and watching romance without becoming a "romantic?" Here is my case. I'm lately suspecting that I actually might be asexual. Asexual as in asexual and not homoromantic. Maybe I'm just hoping that I'm asexual hah! I enjoy reading and watching stuff with romance in it--F/F mind you. I like to observe the characters and couples from afar, but I can never "imagine" myself being in such a relationship. Sure I can think of myself holding hands and acting affectionate towards one person, but this is only projected in my mind. When it comes to reality, this is not what my projection would be like. That's way romance in films or books are unrealistic. Relationships are not always that great like what it turns out in fairy tales. And I'm not falling for such illusions or want it to happen in my life. It's just what they say "monkey see, monkey do." I like to think that I want to be a relationship like those couples, but reality is, I wouldn't.

Perhaps that's what science says that love is a drug. Basically, it is caused by some certain hormone which I've forgotten the name. Kind of sucks for humans though. Humans are perhaps the only animal that actually feels that kind of love.

Unfortunately, I'm human, so I cannot escape this. I do know I can reduce these symptoms by meditation as what Buddhists and nuns/monks do.

For now, I'll try to cope with my blurry emotions. It sucks to be a teenager you know when all those hormones are raging everyday. Need to go through calcination. And now I end my rant.

Confused

2011-04-01T23:43:00.004-04:00

I'm slightly having some "gender" identity problems.

You see, I like being female, but I kind of dislike.. hmm how can I rather put this... my "feminine" body? I mean, it's nothing to be ashamed about, but I have several issues about it.

Clothes. I find it extremely uncomfortable wearing tight clothing or clothes that do not cover a lot. I would never wear clothes showing my cleavage, and I would never wear shirts that do not cover my butt (however, I don't mine showing my arms if they're toned or calves). Maybe it's because of my past molestation by a pedophile.I feel most comfortable in baggy clothing. I dress tomboyish, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm a "butch" or "dyke." It's just the apparel I like to wear.

I also hate bras. They restrain my chest too much and make it larger. So I wear tank tops instead. They're more comfortable. I also like long dresses though and skirts sometimes.

Androgynous. I kind of like this word better. I can be in between male or female or have no gender at all. I don't think I have a gender... even though I'm biologically female. I think these stupid gender labels are caused by society. Humans are the only animals that are like this blah.

I want to cut my hair short. Hoping to do that when the weather gets warmer.

Exercise Goals

2011-03-24T21:56:00.002-04:00

I was just watching a parkour video... and ah. I am so envious that I'm missing out all the fun! I feel like running outside now.

Anyway, I'm currently 5'2'' and 103 pounds. I want to weigh more by converting all that fat in my body into toned muscles. I also missed taking weight training :( It was marvelous during that time... my period lasted for 1 to 3 crampless days. Now I only take yoga, but I feel I'm not getting enough exercise. Yoga only helps with my flexibility.

My friend is planning to lose weight, so we're planning to start walking to the train station from school (if the plan carries on of course). We're also planning to start running in a park together on Saturday.

I also want to start running to places instead of walking. Rather than walking to a supermarket, I would like to run. Of course... I carry a messenger bag with my schoolwork. It would be a nuisance to run with it.

So much do it.

Improve respiratory system by running or doing cardio kickboxing.
Tone legs and arms.
Get rid of flabby triceps.
Practice martial arts.
Do simple gymnastic stunts. (Although I think it's impossible. The most I can do is a sloppy cartwheel and bridge.)
Wooden sword/staff sparring.
Oh and improve aiming skills of course with velcro boards.

That's the Aries spirit!

Deaths

2011-03-18T16:45:00.003-04:00

There has been many "phases" of me that died. Here is what I remember:

Early childhood- Energetic Aries
10-to early 12 years old- "Shy" Virgo
Late 12 years old to 14- Rebellious Girl
15-16 years old- Sentimental Grrl

And now....
17-present- Introverted, Detached Misanthrope

I still haven't died yet.

Recently, I've been thinking about my "15-16 years old" timeline. I absolutely have no idea why, but these unpleasant memories keep popping out. It embarrasses me to an extent. Guess that's the almost full moon in Virgo effect. My rising is Virgo in the first house which rules identity. My Pisces is in the seventh house. No damn wonder. This shall pass eventually, so I should just acknowledge those experiences and move on.

Oh crap. My ear is ringing right now. Anyway....

I finally bought that owl pendant from Pearl Paint! I realize I have a thing for owl artwork. Coincidentally, I've been seeing owls appearing in my life recently. Either it's on the internet and like that one time at an antique shop (or maybe it's some kind of trend). Guess Owl is manifesting in my life. Well, the Owl is my animal totem after all. It's why I bought the pendant in the first place. However, I haven't seen Owl in my dreams for months. I guess She visits me when She wants to.

New Shadow Animal Totem- Crocodile

2011-03-13T13:56:00.004-04:00

Or alligator. I can't really tell the difference in my dream, so I will refer the reptile as a crocodile.

According to my animal dream journal, I've dreamed about the crocodile several times:

Frog and crocodile (passive)- May 10, 2010
Green snake and crocodile- September 23, 2010
Crocodile- October 4, 2010
Crocodile- Today (March 13, 2011)

The snake also hasn't visited me for a long time. Perhaps I learned my lesson? Hmm... just a wishful thought.

The crocodile's appearance started in my backyard. I was in my room which is next to the backyard door. I was annoyed because my father rearranged my top altar, Bast and Sekhmet section. He placed the altar's stuff on a table. He also placed his mechanic machines in the corner of my room, and that was when I felt angry the most. He was basically placing his belongings in my "territory."

I went outside to the backyard, and it was so damn windy that I could had been blown away. There was a crocodile pacing back and forth in my neighbor's backyard (there's a fence between our property). I was kind of getting anxious that the crocodile would come here. Anyway, I couldn't stand the windy climate, so I locked the door with difficulty. For some reason, I had a feeling that the crocodile would end up in our backyard, so I stood a distance away from my room where I could see the window.

As I thought, the crocodile appeared through the window. It was trying to break inside my house violently which terrified me. After minutes, the crocodile gave up and left. However, I was still uneased. I was getting paranoid that the crocodile could show up in my front door.

I don't know exactly if the crocodile was trying to attack me, or it just wanted to approach me. In my dream, it felt like that crocodile wanted to attack me instead.

Attacked by wild animals - Malign emotions and aggression toward us. Departure of Totem power or departure of harmony within ourselves.

I don't believe the crocodile totem left me. Probably has to deal with frustration. Perhaps my crocodile energy is getting frustrated or imbalanced. I think it was basically trying to get my attention by entering through my "barrier" (emotional, mental, etc.) which was represented by my house. I feared the crocodile because I was afraid it would destroy my stability and leave me naked. I think I was generally afraid of the transformation, change, or "new birth" that will occur in my present life or near future. Even though I don't want it happen, it's going to force itself in my life someway. That's why the crocodile kept violently banging the window. It left, but even I knew in my dream that it was going to come back someday.

Alligator, Crocodile- Maternal Protection, Connection to the Earth Mother, Protection from Manipulation, Understanding Deceit, Revenge Through Patience, Initiation, Understanding Weather, Access to Ancient Knowledge, Aggression, Survival, Adaptability (Source)

Crocodile
Creative Force
According to Crocodile Dreaming, death and birth are both vital stages of initiation. As such, Crocodile Dreaming primes us to close one door so that another may open. Crocodile people are both gentle and loving, but, due to circumstance, often appear hard-nosed and strong. They honour both qualities, but rarely combine the two. They take immediate and steadfast responsibility for all aspects of their life and never feel squeamish about doing what it takes to honour the process.Crocodile people often grow up being shown very little encouragement. They are frequently forced to fend for themselves and seek emotional nourishment from who ever is willing to offer it. As a result, Crocodile people often find themselves victims of abuse and neglect, or orphaned at an early age. Crocodile people are powerfully creative, either with their hands or in the way they think and perceive the world. A bi-product of being forced to think outside the box in order to survive, Crocodile people can turn any negative experience into a positive one. They are able to see opportunity in the direst of situations. They refuse to throw the towel in, but because of their dogged determination and ruthless nature, tend to push people away. Crocodile people show deep appreciation for the things they have achieved, obtained or experienced, and when they open their hearts to possibility, make devoted partners and parents. As a land-dwelling animal and an aquatic one, Crocodile Dreaming acts as a doorkeeper to both the tangible world and the Underworld; the embodiment of both life and death in their purest forms. Crocodile, with its eyes positioned on the top of its head, encourages us to see above and beyond physical limitation and emotional burden so that we may trust our intuition and inherent ability to manifest our heart's desire.
-Scott A. King's Animal Messenger

I bold that part because it's true in my case. I've been raised with little encouragement, and my dream goals have always been belittled and put down by my father. (Maybe that's why he appeared in my dream?). My parents always try to talk down to me, but I've never let them discouraged me. I'll never let them try to feed me negativity just because they had "failed" their own dreams.

Seeking out comfort, assurance, or nurturance from other humans is nearly impossible. Noone understands me that well, and I always end up nurturing or giving advice to them instead. Even though I didn't even solve my own problems yet, it's funny how my insight helps them. Wished it worked for myself. Also when others give me advice, I don't take it so well. The only and only way to help myself is if I can help myself first. Guess that's the prior essence of the Crocodile which is why Crocodile is interested in sharing power with me. Though... I am terrified by it. I can only fend myself which is what I've been doing for all those years.

Epic Fail Big Bang Exercise

2011-03-12T00:47:00.002-05:00

Close your eyes and imagine the darkness is a hot tiny space of heat.

Then... BAM! Open your eyes.

See how much the space has expanded and "cooled?"

Okay, I know. I have nothing else better to do. While I was reading this geology college textbook, I was trying to imagine what the Big Bang was actually like and started off by closing my eyes and thought, "Oh hey! The darkness resembles the Universe (without the stars of course)."

When will a natural disaster hit New York?

2011-03-11T22:27:00.002-05:00

Moreover, what kind of disaster can occur in New York?

I'm thinking more like tsunamis, floods, and storms.

Hope some unselfish human will equally save an animal and not say "humans go first" in that tsunami in Japan. Those kinds of peo--humans piss me off the most.

Veterinary Medicine

2011-03-10T21:19:00.001-05:00

Pre-Veterinary Requirements

One year of General Chemistry (lecture and lab)
CHEM 1100 General Chemistry 1 (CHEM 1)
- or -
CHEM 1050 General Chemistry IA (CHEM 1.1)
CHEM 2050 General Chemistry IB (CHEM 1.2)
CHEM 2100 General Chemistry II (CHEM 2)

One year of General Biology for majors (lecture and lab)
BIOL 1001 General Biology I (BIOL 1.5)
BIOL 1002 General Biology II (BIOL 2.5)
- or-
BIOL 1071 Comparative Physiology (BIOL 34.1)
BIOL 1072 Organismic Biology I, Botany (BIOL 29)
BIOL 2071 Plant Form and Function Laboratory (BIOL 29.1)
BIOL 2073 Cell and Molecular Biology (BIOL 17)
BIOL 2074 Laboratory in Eukaryotic Cell Biology and Physiology (BIOL 17.1)

Zoology (lecture and lab)
BIOL 3001 Organismic Biology II, Zoology (BIOL 45)
BIOL 3002 Animal Form and Function Laboratory (BIOL 45.1)

Microbiology (lecture and lab)
BIOL 3003 General Microbiology (BIOL 52)
BIOL 3004 General Microbiology Lab (BIOL 52.2)

Genetics
BIOL 2011 Genetics (BIOL 58)

One year of Organic Chemistry (lecture and lab)
CHEM 3510 Organic Chemistry I (CHEM 51)
CHEM 3520 Organic Chemistry II (CHEM 52)

Biochemistry (lecture and lab)
CHEM 4570 Biochemistry I (CHEM 57)

One year of General Physics (lecture and lab)
PHYS 1100 General Physics I (PHY 1)
PHYS 2100 General Physics II (PHY 2)

One semester of Calculus-Based Math
MATH 1011 Precalculus (MATH 2.9)

One year of English Composition
ENGL 1010 English Composition I (ENG 1)
ENGL 1012 English Composition II (ENG 2)

Statistics
ECON 3400 Introduction to Economic and Business Statistics (ECON 30.2)
-or-
PSYC 3400 Statistical Methods in Psychological Research (PSY 40.1)
-or-
HNSC 3300 Introduction to Biostatistics for the Health Sciences (HNS 60)

Just keeping this in mind because it makes me cry.

All My Patients Have Tales

2011-03-06T20:04:00.003-05:00

All My Patients Have Tales by Jeff Wells, D.V.M. is an excellent book. I just finished reading it today.

I borrowed the book from my high school's library and was skeptical about it. "Don't judge a book by its cover" proved me wrong. I expected the book just to be focused on stories, but it included the author's first veterinary experiences. I found it pretty informative since I'm interested in a veterinary career--so that was a plus.

I'm sure most of us interested in a veterinary career know it'll be a hellhole in college. Studying your ass off for eight years... competitive to get into a vet schools. There are only twenty-eight vet schools in the United States, so it's harder to get in than medical school.

But the veterinary career is all so appealing to me although I know I'll face aggressive animals and bloody surgeries. Just healing an animal makes my future life more fulfilling and meaningful... I want to spend the rest of my life devoted to a cause.

*Sighs heavily*

Perhaps this has to do with my Moon and Saturn in the sixth house? Well, oh well. My natal chart is mostly ruled by Pluto; I'm Pluto dominant since I have a Pluto in Scorpio. No wonder I'm (and my life is) so damn complex.

Confessions of a Crazy Cat Lady

2011-03-06T09:54:00.003-05:00

I wish I could borne--have my own litter of kittens. I want to raise them with my own paws and watch them grow into beautiful, graceful huntresses and hunters. I would teach them all my hunting skills independently without a stupid mate. I want two female kittens that are blue just like my cat and maybe one calico. I also want one sweet tomcat that would remain a mama's boy.

However, I can't because I'm human which makes me depress. No, don't you dare ask, "Why don't you have children instead?" Don't you dare me that question. I'll scratch your eyes out until it bleeds. I hate children, and they are disgusting. (And I use hate instead of dislike). Babies, children, whatever... alien-looking pieces of shit.

Human overpopulation....

My misanthropy.

Arkteia Challenge

2011-03-05T14:22:00.004-05:00

The following question is from Patricia Monaghan's The Goddess Path: Myths, Invocations, and Rituals:

Using crayons, color an image of yourself in childhood. If you had a pet name at that time, sign your artwork with that name. What energies do you remember from that period of your life? What were your hobbies? What did you like to do?

I'm too lazy to draw, so here's a picture I found instead that resembles my childhood self:

Photo courtesy of National Parks Service

I'm getting goosebumps looking at this picture, and obviously, this doesn't look like me. Imagine a Chinese girl around this age with a round face and short hair with bangs. She's slightly chubby, but not overweighted... white sandals, salmon pink shorts that revealed fading scars and bruises on knees, and a sleeveless blue tunic. That was me.

I don't think I had a pet name. I remember I enjoyed collecting leaves, shells, and rocks. In fact, I made a leaf collection album which died eventually. I borrowed mineral and rock identification books from the library and tried to mimic the way geologists identified rocks. I also collected stickers, stamps, coloring books, panda themed objects like dolls, and stationary. Speaking of coloring books, I owned A LOT. Approximately around thirty. I loved to color more than draw. I made beading jewelry too.

I always read ahead in elementary school. I was a book thief too LOL. I stole books from the classroom library and never returned them. I was one book addict.

I also enjoyed other activities like riding my bike with my older brother around the neighborhood, playing Nintendo 64, and hanging out with his friends occasionally. I was considered a tomboy I suppose, although I did like to play with dolls like teddy bears. I roleplayed with my younger sister and neighborhood friends. We pretended to be doctors, teachers, store clerks, waiters, and scientists. I also loved animals like dogs. Surprising eh? How did a once dog lover became a cat lover? I believe I was more extroverted and outgoing back then which explains why I used to like dogs. Anyway, I enjoyed digging my hands into my friend's garden to look for worms. We played with pill bugs on her porch and poked them with sticks.

When I was in the second grade, I wanted to be a veterinarian. My interest didn't wane for I still wanted a veterinary career when I reached fourth grade. However, now I still do want a veterinary career. I never thought about how competitive those careers were until I grew older. Now, I'm 90% sure I want to major in geology once I start college in the fall. I'm a natural geologist after all....

Compared to me now, I was more optimistic, free-spirited, and happier when I was a child. I wasn't really shy; I just kept to myself. I was known for getting in trouble in the classrooms because I kept calling out. Now, I never call out or participate in class. I was more Aries back then and wished I have more of that energy.

However, I haven't changed that drastically. I'm still full of imagination and creativity.

Deity Visit

2011-03-02T16:15:00.004-05:00

I was inspired by my sister to write a blog entry today about deities that had visited me in my dream.

The first Goddess that I had "felt" the presence of was Hestia. Then the next deities were....
Artemis (physically in dream)
Sekhmet (presence)
Aphrodite (physically)
Jesus (Yes, Jesus LOL. Physically in dream)
Gaia (physically)

Artemis's priestess. Okay. Her priestess doesn't count.

I bring this up because my sister had a dream she was being held captive by a negative spirit. She was also paralysis and decided to call Artemis to save her. She came which was surprising because my sister didn't even know anything about Her. Also, she's not a Pagan though she acknowledges the existence of "Gods."

My Gemstones

2011-02-24T19:16:00.006-05:00

Amazonite
Clear Quartz
Jade. (I think it's jade. It belongs to my mother.)
Citrine
Amethyst. (I hope it is.)
A piece from a broken hematite ring.

Dream- Owl feathers

2011-02-21T21:25:00.004-05:00

I was going up in an elevator with two companions (whom I assumed were my guardians or guides in disguise). When the door opened, we faced a mystical-looking woman. Perhaps a priestess, and she looked a bit serious which sent me edgy. However, since I was surrounding by my companions, I felt safe.

Two of her companions appeared, and she passed out owl feathers. She gave me a white-looking feather and told us that there were 800,000 (or was it 600,000?) owls flying passed here. (I think it was a snowy owl feather). It was why she was able to retrieve those feathers. I impulsively slipped the feather inside the scrunchy of my ponytail as an ornament. I felt an air of nobility when one of my companions complemented how beautiful I looked.

Before we left, I received another feather. This time it was streaked with brown--more like a red-tailed hawk feather.

Full moon tomorrow!

2011-02-17T16:58:00.003-05:00

Yay! Tomorrow is the full moon. I'm going to bake clove cookies by "veganizing" this recipe: Link

I'm going to perform an esbat ritual; I haven't done those for months.

The weather has also been getting warmer lately. It's almost spring. Unfortunately, that means the mosquitoes will be coming back quite soon.

Essential Oils Toxic or Aversive to Cats

2011-02-13T19:34:00.003-05:00

Note: All citrus oils made from fruit peels are aversive to cats.

Bergamot (bitter orange) (Citrus aurantium spp. bergamia)
Birch (Betula spp.)
Cinnamon (Cinnamomum zeylancium)
Clove (Syzygium aromaticum)
Fir (Abies spp.)
Grapefruit (Citrus paradisi)
Lemon (Citrus limonum)
Mandarin Orange (Citrus reticulata)
Niaouli (Melaleuca quinquenervia)
Orange (sweet) (Citrus sinensis)
Oregano (Origanum vulgare)
Pine (Pinus spp.)
Sage (Salvia officinalis)
Savory (Satureja hortensis)
Spruce (Picea spp.)
Tangerine (Citrus reticulata)
Tea Tree (Melaleuca alternifolia)
Thyme (Thymus vulgaris)

Source for the List

Yarnall, Celeste, and Jean Hofve. The Complete Guide to Holistic Cat Care. Beverly, MA: Quarry, 2009. Print.

Hydrosols for Cats

2011-02-13T19:13:00.002-05:00

Hydrosols are safer for cats than essential oils. They are basically floral waters or "products from steam distilling plant materials."(Source)

For Calming: lavender (Lavandula spp.), rose (Rosa damascena), scented geranium (Pelargonium graveolens), neroli (Citrus aurantium var. amara or Bigaradia blossom)

For Comfort: calendula (Calendula officinalis)

For Courage: sweet pea (Lathyrus odoratus), yarrow (Achillea millefolium)

For Depression: jasmine (Jasminum grandiflorum)

For Healing: coriander (Coriandrum sativum), cypress (cupressus sempervirens), myrrh (Commiphora myrrha), lavender (Lavandula spp.) palmarosa (rose geranium) (Cymbopogon martini)

For Longevity: sweet fennel (Foenicum vulgare), rosemary (Rosmarinus officinalis)

For Sleep and Calming: chamomile (Anthemis nobilis), hyacinth (Hyacinthus orientalis), jasmine (Jasminum grandiflorum), lavender (Lavandula spp.)

To Clean Wounds or Burns: lavender (Lavandula spp.), rose (Rosa damascena), geranium (Pelargonium graveolens), chamomile (Anthemis nobilis)

Source for the List

Yarnall, Celeste, and Jean Hofve. The Complete Guide to Holistic Cat Care. Beverly, MA: Quarry, 2009. Print.

The Bach Flower Essences and Their Uses in Cats

2011-02-12T17:24:00.002-05:00

Agrimony (Agrimonia eupatoria): This flower essence is used for animals that have difficulty communicating; symptoms due to repressed emotions; skin irritations; feral cats that cannot adjust to captivity; and nocturnal restlessness.

Aspen (Populus tremula): For the "scaredy-cat" that slinks from one safe place to another and startles easily at any sound, even nonthreatening ones. Aspen promotes groundedness and a sense of security in the home. Aspen is for the general, nonspecific fears while Mimulus is the correct remedy for known or specific fears. The root of fear in the Aspen personality is a lack of connection with other animals or humans....

Beech (Fagus sylvatica): For cats who are intolerant of other animals, certain people, or even certain situations, Beech is appropriate. It can be helpful for the cat that spays on the belongings of his owner's new mate. Also, Beech can alleviate general irritation. It's also helpful for picky eaters to tolerate dietary changes. Combine it with Walnut for keeping peace between cats that always fight.

Centaury (Centaurium erythraea): This essence is appropriate for the quiet, submissive cat or the cat that allows himself to be bullied or abused by a dog, a child, or another cat. Centaury increases the will to live when fighting an illness or during a challenging labor and delivery.

Cerato (Ceratostigma willmottiana): This essence is for the flighty, inattentive animals; it is valuable during shows or training sessions, when a cat's ability to focus is required. It's also excellent for anxiety and related problems, such as feline eat disorders, especially during pregnancy.

Cherry Plum (Prunus cerasifera): This is one of the ingredients in Rescue Remedy. It's useful for the cat that loses self-control and becomes wild and vicious when stressed by strange people, the smell of other animals, or unfamiliar noises. It's also used for retaining control during heat cycles and/or mating (for both sexes). It's good for pregnant queens that seem unusually stressed and for the cat that constantly chews himself or chases his owl tail. It may be helpful in case of seizures, incontinence, and allergies, and to help cats stop biting at sutures after surgery.

Chestnut Bud (Ceratostigma willmottiana): This essence is used to break bad habits or during training sessions to increase memory retention and a keen sense of awareness. It helps cats learn lessons necessary for coexisting peacefully in a human environment such as not to scratch the couch.

Chicory (Cichorium intybus): Use this flower essence for the clingy cat, which may be possessive, manipulative, and jealous (wanting always to be near you, to be held, and fessed over); for the mother cat that is overly possessive with her litter, especially when it's time for her kittens to leave home; and for the cat that thinks she owns the house or seeks attention in negative ways....

Clematis (Clematis vitalba): This is one of the ingredients in Rescue Remedy. When the cat appears stunned or experiences unusual, prolonged patterns of sleep beyond the typical catnap, try this essence. It's also used to help regain consciousness following surgery or injury....

Crab Apple (Malus sylvestris): This remedy is especially cleansing during or after any illness, rash, open would, or parasite infestation. It's used to detoxify and heal. It also helps cats with poor self-image that cower during shows, or cats previously abused or abandoned.

Elm (Ulmus procera): Consider this flower essence for the cat that becomes overwhelmed when he must change location, go to the groomer, or be subjected to too many people at a time, such as a cat show or when visitors come to the home....

Gentian (Gentiana amerella): Give this essence for setbacks of any kind, such as when the cat gets worse before he gets better during the course of an illness, arthritis symptoms, or rehabilitation form surgery. It helps to give cats inner fortitude to deal with whatever comes their ways and instills optimism....

Gorse (Ulex europaeus): This essence may be used for apathy, depressions, and despair, when the cat refuses to eat or to improve, or when battling cancer, a critical injury, major surgery, or long-term illness.

Heather (Calluna vulgaris): For the center-of-attention cat that cries for attention or when left alone. For the cat being boarded or housed in a shelter, consider this essence....

Holly (Ilex aquifolium): For the angry or jealous cat with a hair-trigger temper, for cats who are unable to receive love and affection, and especially good for abused or neglected cats that may need to be quarantined, rescued cats, and feral cats. This essence helps to nourish the heart and release jealousy, rage, and anger.

Honeysuckle (Lonicera caprifolium): This flower essence helps cats stop grieving after change such as a new home or loss of loved one, whether by death or separation. It may help after a long birthing experience, for the mother caring for her young after a cesarean section, or to help the cat release the past and adjust to new situations....

Hornbeam (Carpinus betulus): For fatigue and lack of vitality, this strengthening remedy is helpful in assisting the runt of the litter or building up any sickly animal....

Impatiens (Impatiens gladulifera): This flower essence is one of the ingredients in Rescue Remedy. Consider it for the cat that gets agitated by too much excitement ot that is overly anxious at mealtimes or before a cat show. It promotes patience, tolerance, and acceptance, and it's also good for pain....

Larch (Larix deciua): For a cat low in the cat hierarchy of the household, or the runt of the litter, this remedy may help. For the cat with low self-esteem it increases self-confidence; especially helpful before a cat show or event so he can hold his head high....

Mimulus (Mimulus guttatus): This essence is for fear of specific things or circumstances--such as thunderstorms, dogs, doorbells, vacuums, car rides, and children. It's also useful for deep fears, such as fear of starving, strangers, and abandonment. When fear turns to terror, use Rock Rose or Rescue Remedy. It is helpful for illnesses that don't respond to treatment, such as post influenza....

Mustard (Sinapis arvensis): Try this flower essence for the depressed cat, especially if complicated by hormonal changes such as a kitten coming into hear for the first time, the stud discovering girls, during pregnancy if depression is noticeable, or if the cat is cantankerous during heat. It promotes serenity and optimism, especially in older cats....

Oak (Quercus rober): For physical exhaustion, such as the last weeks of pregnancy, when the cat feels overburdened, for long chronic illness, or to rebuild strength after harsh living conditions, starvation, or abuse....

Olive (Olea europaea): This essence is beneficial for mental and emotional exhaustion following a long ordeal or long-term pain, for elderly cats that become exhausted easily, for the cat plagued by stressed adrenals or allergies, and for caged cats that exhaust themselves trying to get out....

Pine (Pinus sylvestris): For the cat given or left behind, this flower essence clears guilt and shame. In competitions, this is for the cat that never makes it to the finals though she's show quality. For the cat that looks guilty whenever her human companion is upset, even though it isn't the cat's fault....

Red Chestnut (Aesculus carnea): This remedy helps alleviate overconcern for others: the cat that constantly watches out the window when his human companion is late coming home, or the mother worrying over her kittens. It's also helpful for separation anxiety.

Rescue Remedy (a combination of Star of Bethlehem, Rock Rose, Impatiens, Clematis, and Cherry Plum): Try this classic for any kind of trauma. In the case of an accident, see your veterinary immediately. However, Rescue Remedy can help you through the trauma of getting the cat to the veterinarian's office. It's used on pregnant queens, on car trips, for boarding, during long absences from home, before and after surgery, or whenever the cat experiences unusual stress. Also, it can stop a seizure very quickly. Rescue Remedy helps newborn kittens wake up and breathe. Give them one drop every few minutes on the tips of the ears or on the paw pads.

Rock Rose (Helianthemum nummularium): This is one of the ingredients in Rescue Remedy. Use it immediately for cats that experience panic or terror, especially after an accident, injury, or other terrifying event....

Rock Water (solarized spring water): For stiffness and rigidity of mind or body, this essence promotes increased joint flexibility and mental resiliency. It's helpful for picky, inflexible eaters.

Scleranthus (Scleranthus annuus): This flower essence promites balance and stability. It can be used for the cat with equlibrium prombles or neurological confusion, as in some kinds of seizures, deafness, dizziness, head tilt, inner ear infection, or bestibular disease, or complications to one side (such as stroke or partial paralysis).

Star of Bethlehem (Ornithogalum umbellatum): This is one of the ingredients in Rescue Remedy. Consider it for all trauma--physical, mental, and emotional, such as loss of loved one, injury, abuse, and birthing difficulties. Use it to comfort cats boarded in a kennel or hospitalized for any reason....

Sweet Chestnut (Castanea sativa): For the high-strung cat as its wit's end, for the cat forced to remain in a kennel or carrier for long periods (for instance, to recover from orthopedic surgery), to prevent burnout in show cats, or any time the cat needs extra endurance or energy, give this essence a try.

Vervain (Verbena officinalis): Use this essence for the intense, hyperactive, or very high-strung cat; combine it with Vine for "bullies..."

Vine (Vitis vinifera): Vine helps relax the dominant "top cat" who thinks he's in charge or the strong-willed cat who rules with claws rather than velvet paws.

Walnut (Juglans regia): This flower essence is helpful for any type of change or transition, including weaning and heat cycles. It eases adjustment to houseguests, holidays, a new home, changes in schedule, roommates moving in or out, new diet, etc. It is also helpful for the very sensitive cat who is easily disturbed....

Water Violet (Hottonia palustris): This is a constitutional remedy for most cats. It helps them keep their instinct for solitude in balance with the enjoyment of interactions with people and other animals in their environment. It's also used for grief, loneliness, and lack of joy....

White Chestnut (Aesculus hippocastanum): This essence is used for repetitive thoughts and behaviors, as well as for that cat who worries about her grown kittens....

Wild Oats (Bromus ramosus): This essence can be used for the bored cat that doesn't feel useful anymore, such as the retired show cat, for the cat that chews curtains or furniture out of boredom, and in competitions, where the cat needs to have a strong desire to win....

Wild Rose (Rosa canina): This flower essence is useful for cats to remain content under any circumstances, for older cats when you bring a new kitten home, for the older, grouchy cat, or the cat placed in a cage during a cat show....

Willow (Salix vitellina): Use this essence for situations of resentment, such as the cat that ignores you when you come home because you left it alone all day or the retired show cat that misses that attention. It promotes acceptance and forgiveness.

Flower Remedy Combination
Flower remedies work very well in combination. Many wonderful multiessence blends are avliable that are designed for specific behaviors and situations....Or, use your intuition to fashion Bach flower mixture that are right for your cat. Here are a few ideas.

Emotional Healing Formula (for stray, shelter, abused, or neglected cats): Aspen, Larch, Star of Bethlehem

Travel/Transition Formula: Rescue Remedy, Elm, Walnut, Mimulus, Scleranthus

Healing and Recovery Formula: Crab Apple, Gentian, Gorse, Walnut, Sweet Chestnut, Olive, Honeysuckle

Source for the List

Yarnall, Celeste, and Jean Hofve. The Complete Guide to Holistic Cat Care. Beverly, MA: Quarry, 2009. Print.

Cat-Safe Ingredients

2011-02-11T22:42:00.005-05:00

Replace toxic cleaning products with the following cat-safe ingredients for your home:

Non-bold text represents ingredient's purpose.

Aromatherapy hydrosols- Air fresheners

Baking Soda- Deodorizer and nonscratch scouring cleanser; use as a paste with water for polishing metals.

Beeswax- Polish for floors and furniture

Bleach- (diluted 1:32 or 1 ounce in 1 gallon of water (30 mls per 4L) Still the best disinfectant; kills bacteria and viruses; once dry is totally safe.

Borax- Deodorizer; nonscratch scouring cleanser; mold inhibitor; flea-egg killer; removes rust stains

Jojoba oil- Furniture polish

Lavender oil- Disinfectant, antibacterial

Lemon juice- Greaze-cutting cleanser, deodorizer

Neem tree oil- Antibacterial, insect repellent

Vinegar, white distilled- Grease-cutting cleanser for floors and hard surfaces; glass cleaner; deodorizes and disinfects; nature fabric softener; kills fungus and mold

Toothpaste (not gel)- Silver and other metal polish

According to this site, it might not be safe using bleach for cleaning litter boxes. Click on the link for more information.

Source for the List

Yarnall, Celeste, and Jean Hofve. The Complete Guide to Holistic Cat Care. Beverly, MA: Quarry, 2009. Print.

It's almost Friday finally.

2011-02-10T23:24:00.002-05:00

I got accepted into 3 colleges so far! I am so happy because two of them happen to be main choices, but now I've decided which one to go. I'm still waiting for the other 3 colleges I applied too (my backups).

In the next few days or so, I'll post entries about holistic cat care from a book. I'll also create a page for my patroness Artemis which will contain original work I devoted to Her.

My Moon Sign is Kicking in

2011-02-09T21:39:00.003-05:00

It's a very great feeling I cannot describe. I feel almost invincible.

I'm also thinking about changing my layout again. It needs to shed its skin.

Cat Astrology

2011-01-25T23:33:00.008-05:00

Who says that cats can’t also have zodiac signs just like humans? One of the best ways to understand your cat(s) is knowing his/her birthdate. If you also know the exact place and time of the birth, that’s even better. You’ll be able to get hold of your cat’s natal chart which is something I wished I had. However, if your cat is adopted and his/her birthdate is unknown, you can always estimate and look for the qualities that match your cat’s ego the most.

Sun in Aries (March 21-April 19) Fire element

These are the toughest kitties on the corner (I should know because my furdaughter is an Aries). Rather than settling down on your lap for an affectionate grooming session, the Aries cat prefers to play. Yes, playtime is better than cuddly time in the eyes of the Aries. The Aries cat is incredibly stubborn; she/he won’t take “no” for an answer. If you say “no,” she/he will find other ways to manipulate you. For self-defense, these felines are most likely the ones to challenge another being to a fight. This could be your neighbor’s large-sized dog or the veterinarian. I won’t be surprised if veterinarians have a hard time giving an Aries cat a checkup. As an independent and freedom-loving feline, the Aries cat loves to explore outdoors. Keeping an indoor Aries cat will bore him/her to death if you don’t have a closed backyard or garden, so provide a lot of playtime with different games. If your cat spontaneously runs across the room like a cheetah or pounces at your feet under a table, that’s most likely a cat with an Aries heart.

Sun in Taurus (April 20-May 20) Earth element

The Taurus cat prefers routine and has strong habits. Thus, the feline is quite stubborn when it comes to conforming to changes. He/she has a favorite spot when it comes to sunbathing, sitting, and sleeping. Like most Earthy cats, the feline prefers stability and comfort. The Taurus cat especially loves to eat, so you should be careful how much you feed him/her when it comes to dry food. If he/she tries to persuade you for more food, don’t give in because you’ll end up overfeeding. The Taurus cat is also shy around strangers, but there is no doubt they love children. In return of reaching the Taurus’s needs and happiness, he/she will shower you with devotion and affection.

Sun in Gemini (May 21-June 21) Air element

These felines make the purrfect familiars because they are curious, intelligent, and fast learners. The Gemini cat is talkative and demands a lot of attention from you. Although he/she isn’t greedy when it comes to food, the Gemini cat prefers a variety of interesting new food. The Gemini cat enjoys being both indoors and outdoors; it depends on their boredom when there isn’t enough fun. The feline likes to explore, especially in the house where there are plenty of neat hiding spots. An outdoor Gemini cat is most likely to stray far from your home because he/she constantly looks for an adventure, so it’s better if you learn how to leash train him/her. Both of you would then will be able to go on walks together. As an adult cat, “once a kitten, always a kitten.”

Sun in Cancer (June 22-July 22) Water element

Because the moon rules Cancer, the Cancer cat can be very psychic. The feline knows where he/she is going before you even take out the cat carrier for his/her vet appointment. The Cancer cat is quite affectionate and family-oriented; having a litter of kittens is an ideal desire. However, there are enough homeless kittens in the shelters for you to adopt and let your Cancer feline take care of. So please get your feline neutered or spayed (this goes to all cats of any zodiac sign!). He/she may also end up adopting a stuffed animal. I can imagine a Cancer cat meowing several times in the middle of the night while carrying a small doll in his/her mouth. The Cancer cat loves to receive affection in return through a tender petting session and being carried around the house. Just remember to give your feline enough attention every day, and your Cancer kitty will be satisfied.

Sun in Leo (July 23-August 22) Fire element

Like the lion, the Leo cat is proud and walks gracefully on his/her four paws. The feline is lazy and may spend the day dozing off in the sunshine. The Leo cat dominants your house and other animal companions you have and dislike strangers visiting his/her house. Climbing and observing others from a high elevation is entertaining. The Leo cat also enjoys being in the center of attention and showing off tricks. To show his/her appreciation for you, the feline may bring you a dead mouse or something he/she proudly caught as a present. Just accept your Leo cat’s gift and your kitty a treat in thanks.

Sun in Virgo (August 23-September 22) Earth element

Because the Virgo cat is naturally a critic, the feline is picky when it comes to food and doesn’t have many health problems. He/she likes to be clean and grooms often to keep his/her fur in place and free of other scent. The Virgo cat understands you more than others because he/she analyzes you often. The Virgo cat is most comfortable with a calm life of routine and shows affection in subtle ways. Although he/she is independent, giving attention to the Virgo cat is a must. Provide the feline a window perch, so he/she can observe the outside world.

Sun in Libra (September 23-October 23) Air element

The Libra cat is a purrfect lap cat and sits on you or others whenever he/she gets the chance. Like the Cancer cat, the Libra cat is also affectionate and enjoys showing love. The feline understands you whenever you communicate to him/her. Learning things is also not a problem. At times the Libra cat may decide to spend time with another person in your family, but he/she is just giving love to everyone equally. She/he enjoys a peaceful environment, so arguing will make the feline stressful. He/she may end up being the one trying to break the argument with a loud meow. Going outdoors is fun to the Libra cat, but don’t expect the feline to chase after birds or insects.

Sun in Scorpio (October 24-November 21) Water element

Being a good manipulator, a Scorpio cat makes a purrfect familiar because he/she can mind read. The feline may be curious whenever you cook and watch you on top of the counter. The Scorpio feline is secretive and is most likely to steal the bread from the table and eat it in the basement. If you have other cats, the Scorpio cat may demand you to give him/her the most devotion. The feline gets envious when the attention you give isn’t toward him/her. The Scorpio cat may end up hiding somewhere and return back to you when visitors leave the house, so your attention to him/her can return again. He/she may also form a special, strong attachment to you and protect you territorially.

Sun in Sagittarius (November 22-December 21) Fire element

The Sagittarius cat is a naughty but adventurous fun kitty. The cat that “has nine lives” applies to the Sagittarius cat because he/she is always getting into trouble but ends up unharmed. He/she may occasionally return home with scrapes and make you feel worried. Due to the Sagittarius cat’s curious nature, he/she will make your laugh even if he/she didn’t intend to. However, the feline is naturally humorous and enjoys making you and others laugh. He/she is also energetic both outdoors and indoors and loves freedom and independence just like the Aries cat. Unlike the other two firey cats, the Sagittarius cat is not territorial and enjoys sharing the house with other animal companions.

Sun in Capricorn (December 22-January 19) Earth element

Due to the Capricorn cat’s faithfulness, he/she only gives you the most affection than others. As a kitten and adult, the feline prefers to play with you rather than toys. Because the Capricorn cat is serious and prefers stability, he/she doesn’t take risks and is less likely to explore outdoors. The feline is not a problem when it comes to feeding time; he/she isn’t picky and doesn’t like to waste food. The Capricorn cat is often shy and may stay close to you throughout his/her whole life. When it comes to children and the elderly, the Capricorn cat knows how to be considerate toward them. The feline is also patient and undemanding but giving them love and attention is necessary.

Sun in Aquarius (January 20-February 18) Air element

The Aquarius cat is unique and very intelligent. You know you have an Aquarius cat when he/she taught himself/herself how to open the door or use the toilet. The feline sometimes appears emotionally distant and needs some personal space. He/she is less likely to miss you terribly when you’re on vacation because he/she ends up forming a bond with the caregiver. Because of the Aquarius cat’s curious nature, the kitty enjoys exploring outdoors and visiting other homes. If your Aquarius cat is an outdoor feline, make sure to get him/her a collar or a microchip just in case he/she gets lost. The feline may also be humorous at times and enjoy getting surprised reactions from you and other humans; tag would be one of the Aquarius cat’s favorite games.

Sun in Pisces (February 19-March 20) Water element

The Pisces cat is sensitive and intuitive and is likely to be the most psychic feline. The Pisces cat finds watching the television and the birds outside entertaining. He/she has a thing for water and may enjoy watching you take a shower and other watery activities in the bathroom. Like the Cancer cat, the Pisces cat is very affectionate and family-oriented. He/she dislikes being alone and becomes very dependent on others. If you have one cat that happens to be a Pisces and you know you aren’t home often, make sure to get another feline companion for your Pisces, so he/she won’t feel lonely.

Sources

Kemp, Gillian. The Good Cat Spell Book. Berkeley, CA: Crossing, 2008. Print.

Dugan, Ellen. The Enchanted Cat: Feline Fascinations, Spells & Magick. Woodbury, MN: Llewellyn Publications, 2006. Print.

(By the way, I recommend all cat lovers to get those two books.)

The Special Maneki Neko

2011-01-21T15:33:00.004-05:00

Some of you may have seen statues of the popular white cat holding its paw up in Japanese or Chinese stores. This cat was given the name Maneki Neko which means Beckoning Cat, Welcoming Cat, Money Cat, and Fortune Cat in Japanese. Neko alone means “cat” in English.

One of the most popular legends surrounding this cat takes place during the Edo period (1603-1868) in the western part of Tokyo, Japan. A temple priest was ashamed of his cat, Tama, for not contributing to his temple. One day, Naotaka Ii, a daimyo or lord of the Hikone district, was standing underneath a tree because it started to rain. He spotted Tama that was beckoning him to go inside the temple. By the time he approached the temple, the tree he was standing underneath was hit by lightning; Tama had saved his life. Naotaka was so thankful for Tama that he decided to adopt the temple for his family, and soon the temple became prosperous. When Tama passed away, he was buried in the Goutokuji's cat cemetery. After the cat’s death, the Maneki Neko tradition started.

The Maneki Neko statues range from big to miniature in size. They are usually made out of ceramic or porcelain. Others are made out of clay, paper, plastic, wood, or paper mache. Some are even made out of jade or gold. The Maneki Neko can remain still or animated with its paw waving “hello” up and down. Each paw positioned in a different direction represents a meaning:

Left Paw: Invites people or customers to come in
Right Paw: Attracts money and good fortune
Both Paws: Protection for home and business
North Paw: The higher the paw, the more magickal and powerful the cat.

Each color of the Neko represents magickal properties:

Red: Love, marriage, personal matters, protection, wards negativity and illness
Calico: Most fortune bringing
Golden: Good wealth and prosperity
Green: Health, education and studies
Pink: Love, romance, and relationships
White: Purity, attracts positivity and good things
Black: Good luck, wards off negativity, cures illnesses in children, protection for women to ward off stalkers and thieves

Other:

Bib and bell: Wealth and material abundance

So next time you spot a Maneki Neko in a store’s window, marvel at its existence :)

Sources

http://www.namaii.com/manekineko/maneki-neko-types.html
http://ezinearticles.com/?Color-of-a-Maneki-Neko---The-Japanese-Beckoning-Cat&id=3538525
http://cats.about.com/cs/manekineko/a/manekineko.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maneki_Neko#Material
http://www.onmarkproductions.com/html/maneki-neko.shtml

Psychic Abilities and Feline Power Animals

2011-01-13T17:52:00.009-05:00

There is something I would like to share when I was reading The Enchanted Cat by Ellen Dugan (which I definitely recommend all cat-loving Pagans to get her book). In one of the chapters, she mentioned that certain feline power animals are helpful to work with for improving and/or developing one's psychic abilities.

Lynx

The lynx is known as the "keeper of secrets." Work with the feline for clairvoyance. Clairvoyance is the psychic ability of seeing visions of the future or past.

Panther

Work with the panther for clairsentience (psychometry). Clairsentience is the psychic ability of receiving impressions and images of the object, place, or person by touch.

The following are other psychic abilities I decided to assign to (or researched on) other feline power animals. Why? Because Dugan didn't mention other cats beside the panther and lynx for psychic abilities, and I was hungry for more.

Bobcat

According to Hercules Invictus in Cat Totems, "Bobcats are listeners. They like to take everything in, mull it over, and then use it to their own advantage. You won't catch a bobcat gossiping, but chances are (s)he's heard it already. Bobcats focus their energy on their own goals using what they observed from others."

Thus, I think the bobcat should be the purrfect power animal to work with in clairaudience (ability to hear voices from the non-physical world. Spirits, ghosts, etc.). Also, according to this website, people with the bobcat totem might have psychometry.

And work with also the panther, leopard or jaguar for clairaudience. The domestic cat totem is also good for developing or enhancing your intuition.

This doesn't deal with psychic abilities, but the leopard and ocelot are good power animals for artistic and creative expression (music, art, writing, etc.). Just something I wanted to share :)

The Aries Cat

2011-01-08T15:54:00.013-05:00

March 21-April 19

As you can see, this picture of my kitty does not seem to be enjoying my attempt of trying to pet her while I took the picture. Argentum is 2 years old and was born on April 18, 2008 according to the veterinary clerk. I adopted her on May 24, 2008 when she was 5 weeks old. How can I not forget about our anniversary date? :)

We both have a Sun in Aries. Her birthday is 2 days after mine. She really acts like me, and sometimes I joke around that she has my "genes." Unfortunately, I wish I knew the time and place of her birth. I would be able to get a hold of her natal chart instead of estimating it. I think if I had her natal chart, I would understand my dear kitty more.

The typical keywords of any Aries are independence, freedom-loving, and headstrongness. As a normally unaffectionate cat, she prefers to play than be pet or groomed while she's awake. She does blink, but she doesn't give out nose kisses so freely (maybe once in a blue moon). If I touch her at the "wrong" time, she will bite me and let me know that she doesn't like it. She only rubs against my legs right when it's breakfast or dinnertime. Sometimes she rubs my legs when I get home but rarely. By now, I don't have to explain that's she is also not a lap kitty. The feline prefers to sit and sleep in a cardboard box than on my warm legs.

Independent. She is considered independent, but I can't help but notice how she secretly yearns for my attention. She wants to be in the center of the spotlight like a Leo. Everyday, she demands at least 30 minutes to an hour of my attention. If I don't give her the playtime, she will stand by the stairs or from a distance away from me and meow like Gemini cat. Once I approach her, she will run away from me as revenge. It happens more than once. This is only in indoors however. At heart, she is happiest as an outdoor kitty. Once she's outside in our small garden, she wants me to bug off. That means I mustn't bother her while she hunts for insects, or she'll give me a good hiss.

I also like to add than she's is a brave fool. Every time our neighbor lets out her dog (once of those large black dogs), it starts to harass my cat. My feline however doesn't like it at all, and she'll teach that dog to piss off. I caught her trying to swap and slap the large dog with her paws several times. I of course am terribly frightened although there's a fence, so I run outside and scold my cat to get back inside the house. Her tail flies all the way up meanwhile. The other time, she jumped on top of my dad's car by trying to make herself look bigger than the dog while arching her back. It actually worked and the dog cowered back for a few seconds but continue to bark.

Freedom-loving. When I confined her to once room when she was a kitten because she did something terribly naughty, she did everything possible to get out. She opened the door that wasn't shut tightly and bolted upstairs to my sister's room. When I close the door when I do rituals, I will hear her scratching the door to be let in. She must be interested in becoming my familiar? Even when I think she's not upstairs, she usually knows what I'm up to and heads upstairs to join me. She is also attracted to candle flames. I always have to place them on the kitchen counter after a spell or ritual because I'm afraid she's going to hurt herself.

Headstrongness. When I say "no," she says "yes." When she says "yes," I say "no." If I won't do what she wants, she will try every possible way to annoy me until I give up. She's such a manipulator haha, and I end up falling for it.

Right after using the litter box or eating, she will immediately dart across the room like a cheetah. Run, kitty! Run! Sometimes when I'm not on guard and walk past the table, she jumps out and pounces at me legs. Once I turn around to see her, she immediately runs back to her hiding spot.

But this Aries cat has a "secret." I am only to pet and groom her while she's asleep or right after she wakes up. She tolerates it for some reason (maybe it's because she's still sleepy). I can also pick her up without hearing any whining. She always whines when my mom or sister picks her up. However, she strangely prefers me picking her up instead. I don't hold her up too long which is probably why. I hope this is probably a little thing you can do if any of you out there have unaffectionate Aries cat(s).

Nevertheless, I still love my furchild.

Anaphrodisiac Herbs

2011-01-07T17:47:00.015-05:00

An anaphrodisiac is a substance that reduces sexual desire; it's the opposite of an aphrodisiac.

Bengal currant

Carissa carandas L.

For the female libido. According to the Indian Medicinal Plants Growers' Consortium, it acts as an anaphrodisiac.

Image from Ecocrop

Black Willow

Salix nigra

Nicholas Culpeper, an English herbalist and botanist, believed the willow is an anaphrodisiac. Verified by the Eclectics later on.

Camphor

Cinnamonum camphora

Reputably used by the Arabs as an anaphrodisiac. The aroma was used in Persian folk medicine as an anaphrodisiac reported by Dr. Franklin D. Lewis. The infused product, such as Vick's Vaporub, may be rubbed under the nose or chest. Do not place on sensitive areas because it may cause a burning sensation.

Chasteberry

Vitex agnus-castus

Also known as the chaste tree or monk's pepper. The herb was used by monks and priests during the Middle Ages. It's for both the male and female libido. However, it may act as an aphrodisiac for females instead but there isn't enough research to suggest that.

Image from Central Texas Plants

Common Rue

Ruta graveolens

Also known as the Herb of Grace or garden rue. Old monks believed it sedated sexual desire.

Image from rz.uni-karlsruhe.de

Dong Quai

Angelica sinensis

Also known as the female ginseng, Chinese angelica, and dang-gui. For the male and female libido; especially recommended for women. It helps excrete excessive estrogen from the liver in order to balance estrogen in the body.

Image from anniesremedy.com

Hops

Female flowers of Humulus lupulus

For the male libido; a traditional anaphrodisiac for men.

Image from guaranteedtosleep.com

Licorice root

Root of Glycyrrhiza glabra

For the male and female libido; especially recommended for hormonal imbalances in women. The University of California San Diego stated that the root decreases testosterone production. In a study the university pointed out in the "New England Journal of Medicine," licorice root ingested in twenty-five grams or less than one ounce becomes a strong anaphrodisiac.

Image by DK Images

Image of dried licorice root from naturesflavors.com

Little Hogweed

Portulaca oleracea

Also known as pigweed, pulsey, and wild portulaca. Due to the presence of norepinephrine, little hogweed is an anaphrodisiac.

Image from Dave's Garden

Marjoram

Origanum majorana

Marjoram oil is used as an anaphrodisiac.

Image from framptondorset.com

Okra Seeds

Seeds of Abelmoschus esculentus

The seeds contain phytosterols which create estrogen-like effects.

Image from bfeedme.com

Image of okra seeds from Allotment Vegetable Growing

Vietnamese Coriander

Persicaria odorata

Also known as Vietnamese and Cambodian mint, and hot mint. Historically used by Buddhist monks as an anaphrodisiac.

Image from Jekka's Herb Garden.

Gossypium
Myrhh Gum
Schizandra
Water Lily
Wild Lettuce
Winter Savory
Skullcap

Other:

Dill
Lettuce
Tomato
Unsoaked grains

Warning: Anaphrodisiacs may cause impotency.

Avoid the following which increase libido:

Aniseed
Arugula
Asparagus
Avocado
Bananas
Basil
Broccoli rabe
Carrots
Celery
Chilies
Cocoa beans
Figs
Ginger
Goji Berries
Mustard
Nutmeg
Pineapple
Pine Nuts
Vanilla
Watermelon
Strawberries

Sources

http://www.livestrong.com/article/258607-what-herbs-decrease-the-female-libido/
http://www.anaphrodisiac.com/Anaphrodisiac_Program
http://www.livestrong.com/article/105790-herbs-suppress-libido/
http://www.ehow.com/way_5414563_herbs-decrease-libido.html
http://www.destination-healthy-foods.com/Libido-Foods.html
http://www.anniesremedy.com/herb_detail66.php
http://davesgarden.com/guides/pf/go/242/
http://www.uni-graz.at/~katzer/engl/Ruta_gra.html

The Cheshire cat

2011-01-07T16:47:00.004-05:00

I absolutely love my new layout! Why? The Cheshire cat is awesome.

The following is from Alice in Wonderland (1951):

Cheshire Cat: Oh, by the way, if you'd really like to know, he went that way.

Alice: Who did?

Cheshire Cat: The White Rabbit.

Alice: He did?

Cheshire Cat: He did what?

Alice: Went that way.

Cheshire Cat: Who did?

Alice: The White Rabbit.

Cheshire Cat: What rabbit?

I had read Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll before. I would like to read it again.

The next blog is going to be about anaphrodisiac herbs. That's all I have to say!

This quote caught my eyes during English class.

2011-01-05T15:20:00.004-05:00

The following is from The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison:

It had begun with Christmas and the gift of dolls. The big, the special, the loving gift was always a big, blue-eyed Baby Doll...I was bemused with the thing itself, and the way it looked. What was I supposed to do with it? Pretend I was its mother? I had no interest in babies or the concept of motherhood...I learned quickly, however, what I was expected to do with the doll; rock it, fabricate storied situations around it, even sleep with it. Picture books were full of little girls sleeping with their dolls...I was physically revolted by and secretly frightened of those round moronic eyes, the pancake face, and orangeworms hair.

The other dolls, which were supposed to bring me great pleasure, succeeded in doing quite the opposite...To hold it was no more rewarding. The starched gauze or lace on the cotton dress irritated any embrace. I had only one desire: to dismember it. To see of what it was made, to discover the dearness, to find the beauty, the desirability hat had escaped me, but apparently only me...I could not love it. But I could examine it to see what it was that all the world said was lovable. Break off the tiny fingers, bend the flat feet, loosen the hair, twist the head around, and the thing made one sound—a sound they said was the sweet and plaintive cry "Mama," but which sounded to me like the bleat of a dying lamb, or, more precisely, our icebox door opening on rusty hinges in July. Remove the cold and stupid eyeball, it would bleat still, "Ahhhhhh," take off the head, shake out the sawdust, crack the back against the brass bed rail, it would still bleat still. The gauze back would split, and I could see the disk with six holes, the secret of the sound....

One female classmate said that Claudia, the narrator of the story, is messed up. I didn't agree with her because this is absolutely how I've felt since I was a child. I was so happy that I can relate to the passage. Since I was a child, I absolutely have hated those baby dolls. At one point, I threw one into the closet in my old house because it frightened me. To this day, babies and little children still "frighten" me. I dislike them... is rather the better word. Why? I have no freaking clue. It's just something natural that I feel strongly about although I'm a female human.

People always say when I tell them I dislike children, "Well, weren't you a child one point?" Or "Wait until you have kids." Like hell I'm going to have kids. I'm a lesbian! Or "Well, this little girl is different. She's cute." Ughh. I'm sorry, but I find them hideous and alien-looking. I have no interest in "motherhood" and never will. Maybe that's why I've never worked with "mother Goddesses."

However, I love non-primate animals. Humans and monkeys... *coughs*. Cats and kittens? Awww! Kittens all the way! They can kick a baby's ass anytime. Now I sound like a fucked up "Pagan," but I'm a crazy cat lady. I'm not crazy without any reason... or proof.

Anyway, that's all I have to say. Sorry to offend any human mothers out there.

Tomorrow is the last day.

2011-01-01T19:08:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow is the last day of winter vacation. Sighs. Now I have to go back to school, but I guess it won't be so bad. January will fly by fast because of regents week and that English exam for juniors. By the time I'll know it, spring will be hereee.

I've been working on my fantasy story. You can check it out somewhere in my fictionpress by clicking on my Deviantart link. It's almost done; and I'm so proud! It'll be the first story I actually complete. Yeah. It's really pathetic. I'm already thinking about a sequel idea.

I think I had a dream about the a fox last night. The fox appeared in my dream twice I think. A few nights ago, I also dreamed about a grizzly bear. These are most likely my message animal totems.

About that cat in my previous journal, it turns out that it probably survived the blizzard. My father saw its footprints on the snow in our backyard. Maybe it's that cat or not. I just hope the stray cat is doing okay.

Poor orange kitty outside

2010-12-26T16:17:00.002-05:00

She/he just looked like this cat. It's snowing heavily outside, and I feel so upset. I'm upset that people don't spay/neuter their cats. I'm upset that people don't even bother taking them in and caring for them. I'm upset that I'm under 18 and have no job. I'm upset because if I owned my parent's house and was the "head," I would take the stray or feral in.

How I spotted the cat was a surprised. I was looking outside the window with my cat, and I was talking to her about the snow. Suddenly, the orange cat peeps out and glances at us in the window. I had to double check that it was a cat! I got so excited and called my dad over. Stupid reaction. He couldn't care less about it.

My younger sister left a box with blankets outside for the cat if she/he decides to stay in our territory. I was hope that my cousin sees the cat in her yard and decides to take she/he in. (We live next to each other). She has been wanting an orange tabby for a while, so perhaps this is her chance. I pray to Goddess Bastet and Samovila to protect the cat and find someone to take the feline in.

It must be that altar I set up for Samovila last night. She wants me to do something about the strays, but I feel so powerless against these issues.

An "Artemisian" activity

2010-12-25T12:33:00.002-05:00

A substitute for archery? Velcro dart boards or just plain dart boards! I unexpectedly received one as a Christmas gift from my cousin. It's a fun activity to get in touch with Artemis the Huntress. It may look silly, but it's good exercise for improving your concentration. I'm getting better at it fortunately. I was proud to stand around 15 feet away from the board and got it in! It makes me feel happy and gives me a sense of pride about my aiming skills.

Samovila

2010-12-24T14:59:00.007-05:00

Samovila is the Goddess of Nature, animals, shapeshifting, natural phenomenon, herbs, and healing.

Her Sacred Domain: all bodies of water, some aspects of weather (air, water, and earth in particular) and wildlife, mountains, woodlands

Her Sacred Animals: All animals in her domain such as the snake, deer, falcon, swan, horse, bear

Offerings: Respect toward all plant and animal life, flowers such as the Bulgarian rose, Bulgarian rose essential oil, besoms, colorful ribbons, cherry tree branches, willow garlands, sphalerite stones, round sweet cakes, fresh vegetables, ripe fruit, music and dance

Offerings usually placed in sacred groves, wells, streams, and dedicated caves.

Work with Her for: need of nurturing and caring, insight in problems, people, or situations, banishment, empowerment to face an issue, justice, protection and safety, accountability, healing, knowledge of herbal wisdom and gardening, inspired arts and creation such as music in dancing and singing

Her Gifts: Some are strong courage, insight into situations, intimate connection with animal guides

A video I made about her: Link

Sources

http://goddessschool.com/projects/willow/l1fpsamovila.html

http://www.goddessmyths.com/Samovila-Yemaya.html

How I found Paganism... and my orientation

2010-12-23T17:13:00.005-05:00

I always thought I should post something about how I found Paganism (Wicca first actually). Well, here is my story.

It was July 2008, and I recorded thoughts in my journal about my orientation and society. I was a 15 year old vegan that time (I'm still a vegan). Why is our society so male-dominated? Why I am still alive? Why aren't I sexually attracted to men? Is something wrong with me? Am I bisexual or lesbian? These questions were scrawled on the page. I was in a horrible mood that month. I couldn't understand myself. I couldn't stand the society I lived in. I hate being female; I was a misogynist. I hated how women were always portrayed as "damsels in distress." I hated the image of women depicted in media, and I did everything that was "masculine" because masculine=strong. I was the "tomboy." I didn't want to be "feminine" because the feminine was "weak." I especially hated being alive. I wanted to die because the world was not worth living in. I did not "fit" in. I was the outcast; the outcast that did belong in this "dimension." I wanted to be male despite my Chinese mother told me she had no favorites in the family because she loved all her sons and daughters equally. (I'm Chinese American if you're wondering).

And then my questions were answered on August 1, 2008. It was a hot summer, so the air conditioner was on. I was sleeping with my sister in my parent's room. I woke up around 3 AM, and I heard my cat lingering in the hallways. She didn't want to go in because it was too cold. I kept listening to the silence. Suddenly, someone called my name. I held my breath. It was a masculine voice moaning my name in an accent, "Anna... Anna." It freaked me out, and I threw the covers over my head. I still heard the voice. Was I hallucinating? I waited again, and my sister got up from the bed to use the bathroom. The voice stopped. When she returned, I asked her, "Did you hear that?" "Hear what?" she asked tiredly. I told her I heard a spirit calling my name which freaked her out as well. My cat walked inside the room, and I glanced at her; her eyes were as round as moon saucers, and for some reason, I think she heard it too. That night we couldn't sleep. I got out of bed at 4 AM and headed downstairs to use the computer. I was going to research about spirits and ghosts, so I could find out why that spirit wanted my attention.

I came across an occult website. It was an article about using Ouija boards to communicate with spirits. I dived into deeper research, and soon I found a Wiccan site. Wicca? Hmm... it sounded so familiar to me. Ahh yes. I remembered that word now. It had to deal something with magick and spells. Pathetic love spells I used to cast when I was 12. I even did voodoo. Yeah, I know. I was such a "loser." I even bought a Wiccan-related fiction book when I was 12 by accident, so Wicca wasn't so unfamiliar to me after all. (I even had a deck of tarot cards at 14). But I decided to look up Wicca again. I didn't know why, but it was a tug. It was important to me all of the sudden. So I looked it up in Wikipedia and... oh! A religion that worshiped both the Goddess and God. I felt a wave of euphoria wash over me. That was it! That was what I had been looking for all those years. It wasn't Buddhism, Christianity, or LaVeyan Satanism. It was called Wicca. Goddess. A religion centered on a female deity. I felt so happy I could had cried.

I couldn't get enough of reading about Wicca on the web, so I resolved to borrowing books from my local library. I checked the catalog, and they had a couple of Wiccan-related books. I borrowed all of them and read and read. But I didn't forget about that spirit of course. I never heard from it again, but whatever it was, I thank it for helping me begin my path.

I started off reading books like The Complete Idiot's Guide to Wicca and Witchcraft by Katherine A. Gleason and Denise Zimmermann, Pure Magic: A Complete Course in Spellcasting by Judika Illes, and Witch-Hunt: Mysteries of the Salem Witch Trials by Marc Aronson (which I never finished). It was all I could get from my local library. I took down everything in my first Book of Shadows, a black marble notebook. I decided to remain solitary because I was still "shy." I was hiding in the closet, but then late September came. I felt lonely. I wanted to seek other Wiccans around in my area, so I created a listing in Witchvox and joined my first study group: Special Effects.

The leader of the group let me borrow her Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner by Scott Cunningham. I finally got my hands on it! Then I met other teenage Pagans and Wiccans. We became friends shortly (I lost in touch with some of them now). When it was my 16th birthday, I bought a used copy of The Holy Book of Women's Mysteries by Z Budapest with a Barnes & Nobles gift card given by my ex-Pagan friend. I was skeptic getting that book for some reason. It wasn't the cover. It was the title. It sounded too... "womanly?" I know I know. I was already an Amazon by that time, so I wanted to learn more about the Dianic Wiccan tradition. I was getting bored remaining an eclectic Wiccan; I wanted to learn more.

When I finished reading my book, all my questions had been answered except about my orientation. (I have never regretted getting that book. That book by Z Budapest had changed my life and views about our society as a whole.) Because I'm not sexually attracted to men, I must be a straight asexual right? And that was what I had thought until I declared I was bisexual during the summer 2009. It still didn't feel right. How could I be bisexual when I still didn't like men sexually? Women sexually turned me on (didn't even admit it when I was in middle school and even caught myself crushing on "androgynous" females). Just not men. So I had a war with my orientation and came to conclusion that I'm a lesbian. I'm a lesbian.

But now... now... I feel asexual. Asexual as in I don't want to be "touchy touchy" in a relationship. I still don't think I'm ready for a "physical relationship," Aphrodite. I'm sorry, but I can't love anyone anymore for some reason. I don't want to love. I'm sorry that i dishonor you, Aphrodite.

So I play it safe by being interested in "cyber-dating." I am a very strange person. I want a distant romantic relationship not a physical one. I just want to feel loved. I just want to love. As long I can feel it and share it, I'm content. I know it's not impossible, but that is what the Moon in Aquarius within me desires.

Sex is even repulsing to me now. I'm a virgin, but I just don't like the "intercourse" thing. Why can't there be love without sex? Why can't we just lie naked together without doing anything? Masturbating is even annoying now. I hate it. I want to eliminate that libido from my body like how domestic animals get spayed/neutered. That's what I want to do, but sterilizing in humans don't change or remove the hormones because humans don't go into "heat" like female cats. I accept that fact that sex is a normal, natural activity, but I don't want it my life. Why can't I just be a rock or stone instead of a living thing?

So I'm currently questioning my lesbianism. I'm either a demisexual lesbian or a gray-A lesbian. I think I'm more of a gray-A lesbian though. Goddess knows what I am. What I am is what I am, so perhaps I shouldn't be bothered with labeling.

And back to Paganism. I'm no longer a Wiccan if you read my About Me page. August 2008 to December 2010. Can you believe it? It has been almost only 3 years. I realized I have learned so much and come so far. 3 years (almost) flew by so fast, but I'm glad. I'm glad because I'm still continuing to learn more.

That's the end of my story.

Lunar Eclipse and Winter Solstice

2010-12-21T16:31:00.006-05:00

What an awesome combo! Unfortunately, I had school today, so I couldn't stay up that late. My brother set his cell phone alarm to 3:30 AM for me. I woke up at that time, but it took me awhile to get out of my bed, so I got up at 3:35 or 3:40.

It was my first lunar eclipse! Yay! I purposefully woke up at 3:30 AM just to see the moon change colors (which started on 3:52 AM I think). It was a wonderful and beautiful experience. I even caught myself shivering haha! After 4 AM, my glasses or binoculars started to do some weird things. The golden light shining from the moon started to turn "rainbow." Don't ask how, but maybe my sleepiness probably caused that delusion if it was one.

I'm not doing much for winter solstice today. I'm going to light a candle at sunset and eat a nice slice of apple vegan pie. My mother and sister bought it last Saturday from Whole Foods. I wish I planned something more exciting, but my school life is too consuming.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a blessed Yule or winter solstice!

Mother Snake and Baby Snake

2010-12-06T21:42:00.003-05:00

I had a grotesque dream about snakes. I hadn't dreamed about them for months. This dream caught my attention, and I'm still trying to interpret it.

Someone was cutting raw meat or flesh. Then it transformed into scales to a snake. The snake started to choke out something (or did it lay an egg?), and a baby snake came out. I at first though "aww," but then I grew disgusted and repulsed.

Perhaps my impression of my change or healing would change; either for the "good" or "bad." Maybe I'm just unconsciously reluctant about the changes I am going through that I first perceived as something positive.

Alchemy

2010-11-25T22:44:00.002-05:00

So I'm reading more on alchemy. The path had attracted me several times before, but I just never had a chance to get a book on it. I borrowed On Becoming an Alchemist: A Guide for the Modern Magician by Catherine MacCoun. There are many ideas I agree with. Who knows. Maybe I might incorporate some elements of alchemy into my path.

Tarot

2010-11-20T15:15:00.002-05:00

I'm getting the hang of interpreting tarot cards by using my own definitions. So far I'm up to experiment 19/30 from What's in the Cards for You? by Mark McElroy. Yay! I'm almost there. Experiment 18 deals with yes and no questions. I was pretty damn surprise that it was accurate. "No" for all the silly questions. Even numbers= yes and odd numbers= no. The type of divination is handy.

The kitty on the left is from the Baroque Bohemian Cats' Tarot. It's one of my tarot decks. My second deck is the Necronomicon Tarot which is the first tarot deck I got. It's dark as you can tell by the name, but I still love it because it's Egyptian-themed. Bastet is represented in the Cups and as High Priestess. I use it for personal reasons, and it's a great deck for inverting cards. The kitty deck I have is what I usually use to read for others. It's much "happy looking." I don't want to scare anyone with the other deck.

I finished my first Yule gift. It's a framed drawing of my cousin's cat. It goes to her. I bought a cat calendar for another cousin of mine. It was cheap and cute.

Knitting

2010-11-11T16:20:00.003-05:00

Knitting was incredibly confusing at first, but I got the hang of it. I was knitting a blanket, which I finished halfway, for my cat. I retired and went to bed. Then my mother, who's a knitting pro, took over. While I was sleeping, she placed the finished blanket on my kitty. Oh well. I wanted to do it myself, but at least the job is done now.

Lemon juice seems to work for my acne. The scars are still taking time to heal though.

Now... it's almost Yule! I know I'm not a Wiccan, but I like to celebrate Yule and Samhain. I'm getting prepared to make some gifts by using my artistic and creative talent. I should had done that last year instead of wasting money buying gifts.

My B6 Dream Experiment

2010-11-10T15:13:00.003-05:00

Things you should know which might had determined the experiment's result:

1) I'm a vegan.
2) I took the B6 1 hour or 30 minutes before bed.

Does a certain amount of B6 intake increase vivid dreams and dream recall? Let's see...

Day 1 (Started on Sunday) to Day 2: 100 mg of B6. Not much of a difference in dreams. I don't remember if they were vivid, but some of them were "nightmarish." I read some blogs that B6 may cause exciting or dreadful dreams. It's like a 50/50. For example:

I was brushing my teeth. Suddenly, I felt a tooth ache and looked at the mirror. One of my molars was loose. I pulled it out. Another molar was loose and fell out by itself I think. I carried the two teeth downstairs and spread them on the table. Both of them molars were long and canine-shaped. I was really anxious about my dental health, so I told my mother I wanted to make an appointment.

I'm not surprised about the teeth dream though. I usually dream about my teeth falling out. Must been saying too many negative things lately.

Day 3 (which was yesterday): 200 mg of B6. Oh man. Did that work! After each dream episode, I woke up immediately. It was actually a good thing because I was able to recall them (but mainly it was because I had to pee).

It was midnight when I woke up. I did recall my dream, but I forgot it now. I had to pee, but I felt too lazy to use the bathroom. I drifted back to sleep.

The toilet was located in my living room. I peed (I was conscious I was doing it, and no, I did not pee in my bed). Then the scene switched to my bedroom. I'm lying in bed trying to sleep. Suddenly, I feel a shadow or spirit near me. The "thing" was dark like a shadow. I could see the outline of some kind of female (the figure's body is identical with mine for some reason. Perhaps it's my shadow Self). I'm frightened, and I want to cry for help. The "thing" has a playful energy around it. A malicious trickster spirit I'll call it. It poked my arm and ran downstairs. I call out "Goddess" three times. It was slooow motion. I get up and turned the lights on. It doesn't turn on, so I turned on the hallway's lights instead. It worked. I went to my parents' room and woke my mother up. I told her, "I saw a ghost." My mother replied sleepily, "Really?" She got up and followed me to the stairs. I told her in detail what had happened as I stared at the darkness which led to the bottom of the stairs.

Then I woke up. Oh. It was just a nightmare. Such a relief. Then I felt spooked out, but thought about it carefully. It was my Shadow Self; the dark side of me I fear perhaps. Or it was a trickster spirit. Maybe it was that same spirit which had visited me several times before (it's that spirit that likes to poke my armpits when I get sleep paralysis). I went to the bathroom and returned back to sleep. I tried to make myself dream about Artemis.

I'm late to school. What the hell am I doing? I'm taking my time eating breakfast. My sister still didn't leave for school. I check the clock. Oh crap! 11:00 something AM. I had to get to school by 7:45 AM. I missed 3 or 4 of my classes already. My sister decides to stay home. I decide to go, but my parents wanted me to stay. I leave the house and spotted a taxi. I get in.

Day turns to night. There are three Russian people speaking in Russian; they are family. I have no idea what they are talking about. The mother sits next to me. The taxi driver is the father and next to him is his son. He's around my age, but I still don't know who he is. We're on a highway now. A messed up highway with "hills." Feels like the car is flying. I shriek when we hit a hill. They look at me, and I laugh it off. I'm not use to the "hills." Then I say how complicating the highways are. I'm not sure if they understood me anyway. I look out the window and look past a crescent waxing moon. How beautiful.

I get off my destination. It's some kind of island. It has a Cretan feeling to it. I'm walking around and see a statue erected. I think it was Egyptian. Sekhmet? A sphinx? I don't know. I look past where the waters are. Across is another small island. I can see the fires there. I want to sail there. I see my friend. She's a Scorpio. I tell her how much I wanted to explore the "island" here and the island across from here. She wishes the same, but we can't. Then I say, "Isn't it a shame?" She gives me this look as if she was offended. She says, "No. It's a secret." I see my mother talking with hers. Her mother seems to disapprove of me.

Scene switches. Then I'm with my brother, sister, and father. We're walking around. I urge them to go into this store because it might have some nifty Pagan stuff. I see Bastet miniature statues. I pick up a green-bluish one which feels like it was constructed out of stone. I can open the head. I wanted to buy one.

I wake up I think and go back to sleep.

I'm trying to sleep, but my libido was bothering me. I get up and sit by a table. Across from me is Gaia. Her face looks like this from my altar:

She takes a teapot and pours it down my crotch. I feel better. She says, "May you be blessed with a child." I thank her. (I think child refers to the creativity that will grow inside of me.)

What strange dreams. They are kind of vivid I guess. I'm taking a B6 break today until Friday. There's no school tomorrow, so there is no need of an aid to wake up.

Is Back! Sort of....

2010-11-04T15:38:00.003-04:00

Wow. I haven't blogged for a long time.

I realized last month that there was a public library right by the train station near my school. Isn't that pathetic? I've been in the same school for 3 years (4 years after 2010) and noticed it recently. Anyway, I went in yesterday and found some awesome "witchy" (mostly spiritual and New Age) books. The library is located in a Jewish neighborhood, so it's no wonder I found all the good stuff. I borrowed Astrology for Dummies- 2nd Edition by Rae Orion and What's in the Cards for You? by Mark McElroy. I'm trying to understand astrology more. The natal chart had always confused me, but I think I'm getting the hang of it. The second book will help me find ways to memorize tarot cards easily. I learned quite a lot so far.

I've also been finding ways of treating my acne. Nothing seems to work.

Green tea
Chamomile tea
Ginseng tea
Tea in general
Fresh Aloe Vera
Tea Tree Oil
Grapeseed Oil
Healthy Diet
Water
Conventional ointment/cream

It's really pathetic. I'm trying lemon juice now. I recalled I used it 2 years ago. I think it worked. There's also intake of flaxseed and flaxseed oil. I just don't have the money. Maybe I'm allergic to wheat gluten (curse you, vegan diet!).

The Owl Is My Animal Totem

2010-10-14T15:26:00.004-04:00

The Owl is either my life long animal totem or journey animal totem. Yay! I'm so happy to know the Owl is my animal totem. I needed several confirmations before. She has appeared in my dreams, and I have felt so safe around her. I have felt guided. I wasn't afraid if she approached me, so I know she's not my shadow animal totem. I can just look up at the sky or at the treetops while I'm in dreamland, and she'll come flying down to me.

Today I dreamed I was lost. I was trying to find my way home and stumbled upon a park with hills. I glanced up at the sky, and I saw a bird flying. At first I thought it was an eagle, but as it flew closer to me, it was the Owl. I let her sniffed my hand and tried to communicate with her by mimicking owl noises. It was a failure lol! She looked at me curiously though. Then she was sitting on top of my legs, but I felt her sharp talons piercing my skin. She immediately got off when I felt the sharp pain. It was an accident. She left her mark on me though :)

She's big. She has a tan or light brown face, but her whole body is white. I'm still trying to find out her species.

Feeling Down in the Dumps

2010-09-29T15:10:00.002-04:00

This is one of my days when I feel this world is not worth living in. Sure I am only 17 years old and have not seen the "whole" world yet, but a part of my tells me, "This is what it is." I am not impressed. Then, I counter these thoughts with positive thoughts. They never work out because I know they're not true. So much for the New Age "love" thing. Love and love. I am getting sick of it every time I open a Yogi tea bag and read those affirmations.

Maybe I'm just absorbing too much energy from the students in my high school. I am extremely tired after I get home. I'm sick of exhausting my mind with academics. My brain is starting to lose its mental energy, and I'm in fact going mental.

Now I must speak with Sekhmet. She is the only Goddess that can help me with my depression. I have been deeply wounded by society for 6 years so far. Woo hoo! Going on 7 years *sarcastic.* I am healing very slow. Artemis had helped me with my misogyny in the past. However, she can't do much about my depression. On the other hand, I believe in Sekhmet. I can do this. I can get out of this dump.

My Relationship with Artemis

2010-09-28T22:02:00.002-04:00

A few days ago, I felt my relationship with Artemis had weakened. At times I felt She was ignoring me, and She no longer wanted me to serve Her. Then I dreamed about Her. I did not see Her face as usual, but I felt her presence. In the dream I was sitting on the couch in my living room. A "vision" swept over me. A woman, who appeared to be Her priestess, was singing. At first the voice was androgynous and deep. Then the voice became clear and was clearly feminine. She was singing, "You're so beautiful." The priestess was inside a rectangular, stone structure. I think it was a herb garden. In the distance were several small cottages lined up in a row. I think she was in the steppes. The area lacked vegetation.

When I woke up, I realized Artemis was still with me. She has always been there for me.

The following will describe what I feel Artemis is to me. I will publish it on my website, Artemis Potnia Theron, when I have time.

Animals sacred to Artemis: All domestic, wild, and giant cats, bears, deer
Colors: Yellow, saffron, solar colors, turquoise
Plants: Honeysuckle, cedar, juniper, sunflower, mugwort
Gemstones: Amazonite, clear quartz, citrine
Offerings: Flowers, leaves and needles, acorns and cones, earthy and/or sharp fragrant incense, honey, spring water, donations to wildlife, animal welfare, and environmental causes
Time: Sunrise to work with Her and night (new, one day before first quarter, full moons) for oracles, divination, and Her guidance

Artemis has appeared to me more as a solar Goddess than a lunar Goddess. She is the Goddess of moonlight instead and not the moon itself. She teaches independence, self-reliance, freedom, stamina and physical strength, self-love, and imagination. She helps me realize my hidden talents and abilities. In times when I feel I’m the prey or predator, She guides me in those “fight or flight” situations. She reveals the secrets of Nature and grants her worshipers the connection to all that is wild. Like the Goddess, Her worshipers are ambitious and energetic. When aiming for goals, She is the bow and I am the arrow. Artemis teaches me how to channel energy and use it for the right opportunities.

Throughout the years I have worked with Her, I had realized She is not a materialistic Goddess when it comes to offerings. Anything, that is free, from Nature is an appropriate offering for Her. Giving up meat, that is not organic or free range, makes a good sacrifice. I have nothing against eating meat, but I am against how the animals are treated inhumanely in factory farms. I will never eat meat unless I hunt it with my own hands and observe the animal’s death. This will show that any life is not easy to give up and to give life is not easy. Being yourself is also the best offering you could possibly give to Her and yourself. Be truthful.

Artemis is best to work with when dealing with physical and mental issues than emotional issues. However, from my past experiences, Artemis helped me get rid of unhealthy, infatuated attachments. Every time I went under a “spell,” my cat interrupted me at the right time. I have a feeling that Artemis was always behind it somehow. If you’re lucky enough, She might send one of your animal companion(s) toward you in order to ground yourself. Artemis also teaches shape-shifting.

Speaking of shape-shifting, I do it every so often. When I mean shape-shifting, I'm not talking about a human transforming physically to a wolf when the moon is full. However, that is probably possible in the astral world. To shapes-shift is to take in the energy of a power animal or animal totem. Or even a non living thing. When I am afraid, I shape-shift to the grizzly bear. When I am happy, I can imagine myself purring like a cat. When I am devious, I am a stalking leopard. However, shape-shifting may not be for everyone.

I don't feel Artemis is the Goddess of childbirth. Maybe it's because I'm not a mother. Maybe it's also because I just don't like babies or children at all. (I prefer kittens! Non-human animals and their cuteness > Human children). However, I do feel Artemis has a nurturing aspect. I can feel it when I cuddle my cat or even communicate with a kitten. I feel myself feeling overprotective when my cat goes outside in the backyard even when there's a fence. I just want all of my kitties (I only have one cat, but to me, all cats are mine ;)) to be safe, happy, and healthy.

Goddessian

2010-09-25T15:31:00.002-04:00

A Goddessian is a practitioner who worships solely on the Goddess or Goddesses. It's a "new" term to describe those who do not identify themselves with other Pagans, Wiccans, and even Witches. According to Sage Starwalker:

Goddessian as it both relates to and differs from pagan, neopagan, Wiccan and "Witch."

And according to Medusa Coils:

Goddessian is a term used by people who revere Goddess(es) and strive for full participation of women in religion. For some Goddessians, this is their sole spiritual identity. Others who identify as Goddessian also identify as Pagans, Wiccans, and Witches. They use the additional identity, "Goddessian," to show that their emphasis is on female deity and securing equality for women in religion.

I have been thinking about my spirituality lately. I feel more connected to the term Goddessian rather than Pagan or Neopagan. I also call myself a Dianic Witch, but the word Dianic derives from the Dianic Wiccan tradition. Perhaps I should switch "Dianic Witch" to Goddessian in order to reduce confusion. (To those who have not read my profile, I am not a Wiccan. I only work with and worship pre-patriarchal Goddesses or Goddesses removed from patriarchal influence.) However, I am consider a Witch and polytheistic. As a Witch, I make up original rituals. It does not contain Wiccan elements (casting four quarters, etc.).

I hope more practitioners out there will identify themselves as Goddessians.

My Finds

2010-09-18T17:28:00.007-04:00

It's another Saturday I volunteer in the park. Today we were cleaning up leaves and branches and using them as mulch for trees. While I was picking up litter, I found a beer cap with a triquetra on it.

A Pagan symbol on a beer cap. It was such a strange find that baffled me. I immediately slipped it inside my pocket. I also found a ripe acorn, dice, and a thin slab of "gemstone." I'm not exactly sure it's a gemstone, but I know it's not glass or any ordinary rock. It's pale purple with green bands. It was half buried under soil. I wonder if it was an offering.

I also discovered a "tombstone" by a tree. It's actually just a small brick that was carved, "HERE LIES TONE. HE WAS A GREAT CAT." I assume the cat was buried by the tree. It's strange that I decided to go near that tree because I had a feeling there was a cat or some kind of feline "scent." I can always sense a cat's presence. This also goes to stray cats.

The food my cat likes and dislikes

2010-09-13T17:59:00.003-04:00

She is currently eating....

Buffalo Blue: Healthy Living Chicken & Brown Rice Recipe (Dry food)

Orijen Adult Cat & Kitten Formula Dry Cat Food

PetGuard Premium Feast Dinner Canned Cat Food

Weruva Paw Lickin' Chicken Canned Cat Food

Weruva Nine Liver Canned Cat Food

She loves Buffalo Blue dry food! She have never gotten tired of it, but unfortunately she has gotten tired of Orijen. She only loves Orijen when it's new. I only feed it to her during dinner if wet food runs out. She used to love Weruva and PetGuard a lot. She has also gotten tired of it... I know! What a picky kitty. The only meats she would eat is chicken and turkey, but mostly chicken. She likes tuna I guess, but I don't give it to her often because of the mercury content. Salmon is okay, but she isn't a fan of seafood. I wish I can let her try more brands, but the cans don't always come in 3 ounces. She's 10 pounds (2 years old) and has a small tummy. So basically I just feed her 1.5 ounces of Buffalo dry food in the morning and a 3 ounce can of wet food for dinner. I rotate Weruva and Petguard each day.

She dislikes:
Wellness (*cries*)
Merrick
Halo Spots Stew
Evolve
(she usually dislikes cat food with a lot of veggies)

She also used to love EVO, but the cans are too large. She won't eat food that had been refrigerated.

My shadow animal totem is the Snake.

2010-09-09T15:04:00.004-04:00

I have been dreaming about the snake for years now. This time the shadow totem appeared to me as a green snake. However, it's interesting how I reacted.

The Snake was in a small flower pot (just soil). I glanced at it with much reverence at its beautiful green skin. I also felt a nurturing, loving kind of feeling. I was very comfortable with it. Suddenly the snake slithered out of the pot. This scared me. How did I go from 'awe' to fear? I immediately fetched an object capable of smacking the snake. I slammed it once, but the snake got away and slithered to the kitchen. It hid under the cabinets.

Perhaps I am overcoming my fears of change slowly. This is the first dream I had close contact with a snake. Perhaps I am 'renewing' or transforming very soon. Or maybe I don't want 'it' to happen.

The funny thing is I had a conversation with my Self before I fell asleep. I couldn't sleep, so I started talking to myself (my Self). Strange it sounds, but I felt better and happy. I told my Self that I was tired of living on Earth and that I wanted to go home. I asked my Self what was the purpose of being here in the first place anyway when I decided to incarnate in this human body. My Self told me that I will find out in the future soon as I gain more experiences of life as a human being.

"Underground" Pagan-Themed Movies

2010-09-06T14:13:00.005-04:00

1. The Three Lives of Thomasina
Despite the 'patriarchal' plot where the 'witch' is defenseless, this movie is my all time favorite. Why? The protagonist is a beautiful adorable cat named Thomasina, and anything with cats is the best. There's a healer that lives alone in the woods in a cottage, and all the children fear her. Thus the woman is known as the 'witch.' However, she's just a healer that heals animals that are injured and trapped. Another Pagan-themed scene is when Thomasina has a near-death experience and dreams of paying a visit to the Goddess Bast (my favorite scene!).

The film brings up the issues of euthanizing animal companions and animal cruelty. The father of the little girl (forgot their names) is a cold veterinarian (when I say cold, he doesn't seem to like animals very much). Every time he couldn't come up a way of healing an animal, he puts them to sleep. He is also criticized a lot by his past clients. However, one day his veterinary practice was changed by the young woman healer. The healer used different methods of healing injured animals: love, patience, and care. When animals were injured, she tended their wounds and placed them in a separate cage. She fed them water and food. She gave the animals attention and comfort. The animals were immediately healed, and each animal got along with each other outside her cottage. This is what the veterinarian was fascinated by.

The animal cruelty was depicted in the circus scene. Animals were treated poorly and were physically abused to be trained. The children, who realized the 'witch' wasn't the kind of witch they thought she was, found out about the circus. They notified the healer, and she tried to stop it.

2. The Clan of the Cave Bear
This film is based on the novel by Jean M. Auel. The film may not be better than novel and the quality may not be the best, but it brings back Neolithic Shamanic practices. Also the role between women, the gatherers, and men, the hunters. However, the book series is quite Goddess and matriarchal-oriented when Ayla meets up a man who was originally from a matriarchal tribe. Compared to the tribe she was raised in, he respected women very much.

3. Chocolat
The film depicts the 'battle' between Christianity and Paganism. The beginning of the film was interesting, but I lost interested in the middle of the film. I have never finished it. I guess it was because the man to woman relationship did not interest me since I'm a lesbian. However, the film contains Mayan-themed scenes and makes you want to eat chocolate.

Mugwort

2010-09-05T21:02:00.016-04:00

Mugwort
Species: Artemisia vulgaris
Family: Compositae
Edible, but very bitter

In England, "wort" used to be a word for an herb or plant. Mug refers to a mug of beer which was flavored with mugwort. Mugwort is often confused with wormwood. To identify mugwort, check underneath the leaf. It should be white and feel woolly. These plants grow in early spring at "disturbed" areas such as roadways, sidewalks, overgrown fields, and thickets. You can easily recognize these tall plants, which grow up to 6 feet, in North America. Also the flowers grow in the summer.

My mother, who is from China, uses the leaves to make the "cha-go," something shaped like a dumpling, green. She sometimes uses the leaves along with meat and vegetables as stuffing. I asked her how she can handle the bitter taste, but then my mother explained to me that mugwort tastes very bitter if you harvest it "wrong." It's best to harvest the leaves in spring when they are young. According to Karen Vaughan in Spring Mugwort, "...once it got over five inches the bitter taste was overpowering." Perhaps this is what my mother meant.

Medicinal Uses of Leaves: An infusion of mugwort is really strong and incredibly bitter. I had added a few organic mugwort leaves (barely a whole leaf) in a cup with a teaspoon of jasmine, and it was still bitter. The tea tasted worse than bitter melon, but my tongue is weak when it comes to bitter foods. Anyhow, an infusion of mugwort before dinner promotes digestion. It relaxes the nervous system and used for insomnia. The infusion is also good for colds, bronchitis, fever, sciatica, kidney disorders, hysteria, epilepsy, and a small nervous tension. Mugwort stimulates menstruation if suppressed. Good for menstrual cramps, female reproductive disorders, and skin problems. Chinese herbalists used the herb to prevent miscarriage, but it should be avoided in pregnant women. Mugwort was also used by the Chinese for moxibustion.

Magickal Uses of Leaves: For strength, psychic powers, protection, prophetic dreams, healing, and astral projection. Sacred to Artemis and Diana. Stuff the leaves inside a pillow for vivid, lucid, and prophetic dreams. Use a fresh leaf to rub magick mirrors and crystal balls. This will increase your tool's strength when it comes to divination. For best results when it comes to using mugwort, harvest the leaves on a Full Moon. When it's the New Moon, create a tincture and seal it for seven days. Strain the leaves and drink a little of it to aid you in divination and clairvoyance. For good luck, gather the herb on summer solstice. Mugwort is also known as the "traveler's herb" because it is commonly grown near roadways. Place a leaf in your shoes for tired feet or for long walks. It will protect travelers against danger and wild animals. Here is a little spell:

A charm for gaining strength to run or for long walks is to pick mugwort before sunrise saying:

Tollam te artemesia, ne lassus sum in via.

This invocation is in Latin. The good thing is, I take Latin so here's the English translation, since I couldn't find it anywhere: "I will take you Artemisia (mugwort), in order that I am not tired on the journey." Carry the charm for the duration of the activity.

Other Uses: Repels insects and moths.

Taking large amounts of mugwort internally by infusion or any other kind of preparation may not be safe.

Sources
Herbs (DK Handbooks) by Lesley Bremness

Identifying and Harvesting Edible and Medicinal Plants in Wild (and Not so Wild) Places by "Wildman" Steve Brill with Evelyn Dean

Rodale's Illustrated Encyclopedia of Herbs by Claire Kowalchik & William H. Hylton, Editors

Celtic Magic by D.J. Conway

http://www.acupuncturebrooklyn.com/alternative-health/spring-mugwort
http://www.altnature.com/thegarden/Mugwort.html
http://www.earthwitchery.com/herbsh-o.html#anchor2264526
http://artemispotniatheron.angelfire.com/spell5.html

Types of Herbal Preparations

2010-09-05T18:17:00.004-04:00

Infusion: Another word for herbal tea. Best to steep herbs in a glass or enamel container rather than in metal because of a possibility of chemical interaction.

Decoction: Simmering of herbs (primarily root, bark, or seed) in a nonmetal pan or pot for 15 to 20 minutes or until a quarter of it is reduced. However, some herbs contain a volatile oil which gets lost when boiled. Make an infusion instead.

Compress or Fomentation: Applying herbs externally to an affected area by wetting a cloth in an infusion or decoction. A hot or warm compress encourages circulation. A cold compress decreases cools fever and swelling.

Ointment or Salve: Thick, oil-based extract. Recipe from Herbs (DK Handbooks):
Melt 10 oz (250 g) petroleum jelly; add 1 oz (30 g) dried or 3 oz (90 g) fresh herbs. Simmer for up to 2 hours; strain.

Poultice: Ground or powdered herbs, which are warmed and moistened, applied externally on skin. A bandage is usually used.

Tincture: Alcohol extract. Cover herbs inside a jar with alcohol for a few days or weeks. However, you can begin the preparation on a Full Moon and strain the herbs on a New Moon.

Sources

Herbs (DK Handbooks) by Lesley Bremness

Identifying and Harvesting Edible and Medicinal Plants in Wild (and Not so Wild) Places by "Wildman" Steve Brill with Evelyn Dean

Dandelion

2010-09-05T15:37:00.007-04:00

I'm thinking about doing blog entries about herbs from now on.

Common Dandelion
Species: Taraxacum officinale
Family: Compositae
Edible

You can recognize the golden flowers by its jagged leaves. In Old French, "dent de lion" means "lion's tooth." They grow up to 6 inches to 1 feet in lawns and meadows during late autumn to early spring.

The leaves are used in salads and have a chicory taste. They contain good sources of vitamin A and C, beta carotene, iron, and calcium. Also vitamin B1, B2, B5, B6, B12, E, P, and D, biotin, inositol, potassium, phosphorus, magnesium, and zinc. In fact, dandelion leaves contain a higher amount of beta carotene than carrots and more calcium and iron than spinach. The yellow flowers are also edible, and it's best to harvest them before mid-spring. They are used in wine. If you harvest the leaves in early spring before the flowers grow, the leaves will taste better. However, you can harvest the leaves from spring to fall, but they will taste very bitter. The root is also used in tea.

Medicinal Uses of Leaves: Treats urinary disorders and fluid retention (without decreasing potassium in body). Acne, eczema, and internal sluggishness. Good for bladder, spleen, pancreas, stomachs, and intestines. In tea form, it aids digestion during or after dinner.

Medicinal Uses of White Sap: Treats warts, corns also known as calluses, moles, acne, moles, and blisters. Also bee stings.

Medicinal Uses of Roots: A very safe herbal remedy. Helps to increase blood and used to cure anemia. Decreases inflammation. Good for jaundice, gallstones, chronic hepatitis, mature-onset diabetes, and rheumatic joints. Also the decoction strengthens all of the body. Do not use if you have a small inflammation, irritated stomach or bowel.

Magickal Uses: Herb of the spring equinox. Jupiter plant. For divination, wishes, and calling spirits. To see how many children you will have, blow off a mature seedhead and count the remaining seeds. Also blow the seedhead to carry wishes to your lover or during a Full Moon to make a wish. Because the seeds drift in the air, they are connected to the air element. Use the dried root to make a ritual bead necklace to evoke Hecate. The tea increases psychic abilities.

Dyes: The flower makes a yellow color for fabric like wool. The roots or the whole plant gives off a magenta color.

Other: Roasted dandelion root, when collected in autumn, can be used as a substitute for coffee. It can also be added to hot chocolate.

Sources
Herbs (DK Handbooks) by Lesley Bremness

Identifying and Harvesting Edible and Medicinal Plants in Wild (and Not so Wild) Places by "Wildman" Steve Brill with Evelyn Dean

Rodale's Illustrated Encyclopedia of Herbs by Claire Kowalchik & William H. Hylton, Editors

A Druid's Herbal for the Sacred Earth Year by Ellen Evert Hopman

http://www.magialuna.net/d.html
http://www.earthwitchery.com/herbsa-g.html#anchor1841289

Cedar

2010-09-03T14:43:00.003-04:00

The goodness of cedar wood incense. I had not lighted incense for a while, so yesterday I lighted my Morning Star cedar wood incense sticks. I just realize how good it smells.

I miss lighting my incense sticks on my altar everyday. This metaphysical store, which sold incense sticks, had closed down, so I'm using the last of my incense sticks wisely.

The cedar is a protection symbol in my dream. I had another bad dream, but this time I was saved by a cedar tree branch. I found it burrowed halfway in sand and used it defend myself. The attacker didn't dare go near me.

The cedar is sacred to the Goddess Artemis. Her title, Kedreatis, means Lady of the Cedar. Near Orchomenus, an ancient city in Arcadia, Artemis's wooden image was inside a large cedar tree.

Also according this website, "In Anatolia (Turkey) the Cedar of Lebanon was associated with a particularly violent form of Artemis."

Magickal properties of the cedar are healing, purification, money, and protection. It is a Sun plant and fire element.

Top Foods I Love and Dislike: A Vegan's Opinion

2010-09-02T14:18:00.004-04:00

Love:
1. Whole Foods Vegan Chicken Salad
2. Whole Foods Vegan "Tuna" Salad
3. Pea and Scallion Bread
4. Figs
5. Potato Patties
6. Sweet Potato Sushi
7. Macro BBQ Tofu

Dislike:
1. Jewish Rye Bread
2. Bitter Melon
3. Macro Vegetarian Sushi
4. Mung Bean Sprouts
5. American ginseng tea (it's not food, but I can't think of anything else!)

Palmistry: The Water Hand

2010-08-29T18:35:00.002-04:00

I have been studying palmistry lately. I discovered that I have a water hand which has long fingers and palm. It took me a long time to figure it out. I wasn't sure if my hand was a fire or water hand, so I decided to hand paint it on paper.

I photoshopped the colors. It was originally orange tempera.
It's a bit funny that I have a water hand. I'm a fire (Sun sign) and air (Moon sign) element. However, sometimes there are natal charts that tell me I'm a Moon in Pisces. I guess I have a little bit of everything.

Another dream about love

2010-08-22T18:00:00.005-04:00

I had another love dream. It's raining today, and it was also raining while I was asleep, so I'm not surprised. The water element links closely to emotions, and love is one of them.

I was inside these buildings that look something like Mughal architecture. Everyone had to evacuate because some disaster occurred in the city. The sky darkened with smoke which hovered above the domes of the buildings. I saw people running downstairs and among them, I saw a woman draped in cloths.

My friend, which I also identify my lover, took my hand. "We're going to take the 'Harlen' (Harlan?) exits," she said to a man. We headed down different stairs. The Harlen exits were 3 exits. (I have no idea what Harlen means. Perhaps a made up word from my dream?)

We came to place that looked like an empty train station. I couldn't see the tracks. I was afraid to jump down, so she did it first, and then I followed after her. We were still holding hands.

Like the rabbit hole from Alice in Wonderland, we landed in a small, white temple with two pillars. I recognized the place and had a close connection to it. I went by the empty altar, and a stick of incense stood. I took it and wanted to light it, but we were running out of time. We had to leave now, so I placed it back on the table. However, my friend took it. I still couldn't see her face until we got to the boat.

We left the building and sailed on smooth water. I think we were on a wooden canoe or rowboat. This was the time I felt very close to her. Very romantic. I was lying down on the boat, and she poked her head in front of me. She was Asian and had short black hair. We started to cuddle. It was so lovely.

"I wonder how we first fell in love," she said.

"I know I didn't cast a spell on you," I replied in a joking matter.

Surprisingly, she took it seriously and faced away from me. Why? I felt upset.

"Is it because I'm a Witch?" I asked angrily.

She didn't reply, so I faced the back of the boat. I got of the boat as soon as we reached the shore. She disliked me because I practiced magick. I abandoned her, but I couldn't get over it.

I also had a dream about my shadow animal totem, the snake. I opened the door of my basement and there was darkness. Bugs surrounded the snake, and the snake rose up as it saw me. I quickly closed the door and sought refuge in the living room.

Shadow animal totem: Snake
Power animal or lifelong animal totem: Red-tailed hawk or owl. I'm still not sure.

Illgeal feathers

2010-08-21T18:21:00.002-04:00

How many of you know that owning native, migratory bird feathers are illegal in the United States? (This does not apply to Native Americans). Even if you just found one on the floor without doing any harm, it's still consider a violation to the Migratory Bird Treaty Act.

My first impression: ridiculous! I felt angry. What if it was a gift from an Animal Spirit or a sign from an Animal Totem? However, I stumbled on the article, Do you Have Eagle Feathers, and it made me think.

Examples of native, migratory birds are hawks, owls, songbirds, and eagles.

According to the Migratory Bird Treaty Act:

In the lower 48 states, all species except the house sparrow, feral pigeon, common starling, and non-migratory game birds like pheasants, gray partridge, and sage grouse, are protected.

A majority of non-migratory birds are flightless. Here is a list: Flightless birds. Unfortunately, many of them are extinct.

You can still collect feathers from the floor as long they are non-migratory and non-native. If you have a pet that is a domesticated parrot, it should be perfectly legal to keep its shed feathers. After all, it is your parrot! It's like saying I can't keep my cat's shed hair or nails.

Felled from the sky

2010-08-17T13:29:00.004-04:00

You know how the Ephesians once said that the stone inside the Temple of Artemis fell from the sky? Last year on November 13th, I had a dream about something like that except it was a statue.

It was night time. The Goddess Artemis left the city ruled by patriarchal Gods without a care. She left without looking back and settled in the forest. There, she brought her marbled-self statue and it appeared like magic. Women from time to time came to worship her in her sacred woods. She was not the daughter of Zeus, or the sister of Apollo anymore. She belonged to no one.

Yeah. It's a strange dream that told a story.